Hopkins is a diverse university where an incredible mix of cultures, academic interests and personalities coexist and thrive. Here is the section where you can publish your unique thoughts, ideas and perspectives on life at Hopkins and beyond.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about the things that I’d done for the last time without knowing it. My dad put my hair into a ponytail for the last time on one random school morning in 2014. I played my final solitaire game on our crusty computer in 2016 right before it shut down for good, never to be opened again.
Last week, I caught a particularly annoying cold and lost my voice. As I showed up to class armed with masks and copious quantities of hand sanitizer, I noticed that I wasn’t raising my hand during lectures nearly as much as I usually do. I wasn’t asking my professors questions or answering theirs because of my voice; I didn’t bother trying to speak because I knew it wouldn’t work. Its silencing effect was annoying, and it was particularly irksome because this wasn't the first time my voice had held me back.
Over fall break, I voted in my first election. But that wasn’t the biggest “first” I experienced. That week, I was also called something I had never been called before: a “fucking libtard.”
I have a wall inside of me that I think is made of concrete. It has taken me 17 years to recognize it, 18 to acknowledge it, and 19 to write it all down in a Voices article for The News-Letter.
I’ve never been good with change; in fact, it terrifies me. More specifically, I’ve never been good with letting people go. Throughout orientation week at Hopkins, I would wake up in my dorm wishing I could go back to my childhood bedroom and listen to my parents’ voices drifting in from the living room.
Something about free-floating 35,000 feet in the air watching the sun come up or city lights sparkle down below is oddly calming. Sometimes, I wonder how much time I’ve spent untethered to anything except for whatever metal tube with wings I’m currently sitting in, and, coming from the opposite side of the country, it’s probably quite a lot.
As the end of my college experience draws closer, I’m forced to think about what comes next. And what does come next? I, for one, have no idea. I’m doing all the right things (I think): applying to jobs, reaching out to alumni, leveraging my experiences, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But it’s really scary to leave academia.
While I personally don’t recall the exact moment my parents told me I was going to have a younger brother, I laugh every time I watch the VHS tapes. I was so upset — almost in tears. At the time, I was deep in my Barbie era, and all I could think about was not having a sister to dress up and play with; though, to his dismay, my brother, Krish, did end up going through that phase with me anyway.
After the clock ticked past midnight and my friends force-fed me cake and it was officially autumn and the beginning of my 22nd year, one of my roommates asked me to share what I was thinking of, being the first to turn 22 and therefore older and wiser than the rest of my friends.
More often than not, I’m thinking about writing fiction. And, despite this column’s partial intention of being a way to document whatever’s been persistently floating around my mind, I realize that I’ve never written about writing. How odd.
There is nothing inherently dark or toxic about the girl who has signed up for too many student orgs, the boy who wins a new prestigious award every week, the person who consistently sets the curve in your most difficult class. What is dark and toxic — and scarier than any horror movie you may watch this month — is how we talk about these hectic schedules in the language of prideful struggle.
When I first began writing, I had an unfathomable obsession with imagery. For hours, I would park myself at my favorite table at Barnes and Noble with my latte in hand and write pages upon pages of descriptions. Taking in the senses around me, I’d let my mind wander to places that I could only dream of.
Used 2001 Buick LeSabre Limited 4dr Sedan For Sale $5,000 cars.com. I guess you would call that our meet cute. My family tried to keep us apart: “A smoker’s car, really? You can’t get the smell of smoke out, you know.” I never had a keen sense of smell.
I often try to imagine what my grandma’s teenage years were like. I myself will turn twenty soon, and in my final year of being a teenager, I have been given the grace to do what she never could when she was my age: worry about something as frivolous and fleeting as my appearance.
I’d mastered it: pretending that I was fine. Because the general expectation from us humans is quite straightforward: We cannot display sadness. We shall not reveal our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. No, we must present ourselves to others as optimistic, happy and motivated: always driven, always okay.
I did not learn to love the land that raised me until I had already left. In every introduction during my first week of college, that land haunted me. Like a scar, it was irrefutable proof of where I had been, and it clung to every artifact of my life: my area code, my driver’s license and (most regrettably) my introduction.
While I hadn’t planned to do so during my undergrad, I’m now beyond thrilled to be pursuing a Master’s at the Bloomberg School of Public Health, and I’m loving my current program and classes. It’s a testament to expect the unexpected and to make room for new and exciting opportunities, even if they aren’t what I had initially planned.
I desperately wanted friends, both back in kindergarten and as a freshman at college. I’ve always been the quiet kid — the kid who would rather get lost in books than go outside. At college, I was determined to reinvent myself, to be someone everyone wanted to hang out with, to be “fun.”
As I was eating my lunch near the lily pond in the Decker Garden while writing my research paper and watching the new students explore the campus, it suddenly hit me that now I am closer to finishing graduate school than the day I started it. When I first came to Hopkins in 2021, the thought of surviving and thriving in graduate school felt both exciting and terrifying.
There was something about the structure of rap (its rhythm and cadence) that allowed me to speak fluidly, even rapidly. It felt like I had found a loophole in my speech disorder. From then on, I dove into the world of rap. For me, it wasn’t just a hobby but a safe space where I could express myself freely without letting self-consciousness trip up my speech.
