The seven stages of dealing with election results
(11/10/16 3:51pm)
1. Pretending like everything’s fine
Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
November 21, 2024
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1. Pretending like everything’s fine
I was in love with Hopkins a week after I arrived. The campus was beautiful, my classes were more interesting than anything I had ever taken in high school, I was meeting tons of amazing new people and I was thrilled about all the great things I would be able to do in Baltimore.
It features contributions from music royalty as impressive as Lindsey Buckingham (who you might know from his Fleetwood Mac days). It also features the impressive musical experience of members from David Bowie’s Blackstar band: pianist Henry Hey and bassist Tim Lefebvre.
For one, her sex tape was titled “1 night in Paris,” and, as someone who spends an inordinate amount of her time here at Hopkins studying poetry, I feel I am qualified to say that this is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.
Shout out to my Linear Algebra professor:
The Birthday Problem is an example of something that shocked me when I first learned about it in lecture. The problem simply asks how many people would need to be in a room for there to be a high chance of two people’s birthdays matching up.
Time: Monday afternoon
Raised in a humble farm in the American heartland and weighing in at 145 pounds, this individual stood for those marginalized and exploited by an unfair status quo. This hero was eventually butchered and gutted by the slaughterhouse of the American political system. This is the story of Pigasus, the pig.
So what makes them so American? First of all they were created by an American man, an American doctor no less, named John Harvey Kellogg (Sound familiar?). His brother would later outstrip him in fame through the creation of the Kellogg company.
Nov. 1, 1896 — National Geographic shows a woman with bare breasts for the first time.
I first heard of the 30-day challenge in high school when a friend sent me a short TED Talk video by Matt Cutts. This Google-employed computer scientist had made a habit of trying out a daily challenge for 30 days, from biking to work to taking a photograph each day. Impressed by the adventurous spirit the challenge had cultivated in this self-described “desk-dwelling computer nerd,” I agreed to try several challenges with my friend.
If you go online and browse through any one of the numerous literary journals in existence, you’ll unearth a vast collection of poems written by contemporary writers, generally normal people who can do extraordinary things with writing. I’ve read so many beautiful poems through these literary journals, but the one that has stuck with me most strongly is “Teratoma” by Alison D. Moncrief Bromage.
Donald Trump
With campaign season come campaign materials, the brightly colored manifestations of our candidates that boil down the issues to a pithy phrase or unflattering picture of an opponent. We’ve all seen the lawn signs, bumper stickers, T-shirts and campaign buttons, but what have their hues, patterns and slogans been doing in the backs of our minds as we consider the major issues of the day?
My parents know who they’re voting for in this election, and it’s not Trump.
Hillary Clinton is a cold-hearted manipulative android designed by focus groups. Bernie Sanders doesn’t own a hairbrush. Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. Haha. Hilarious. Some real knee-slappers.
To anyone that read my tasteless, needless and generally horrible article on the 1996 murder of Hopkins student Rex T. Chao, I am extremely sorry. Making light of someone’s death in the context of Halloween was an idiotic and insensitive decision. I apologize for making light of a real life tragedy that had such a grave impact on the campus.
If that isn’t cool, what is? So let’s break it down, where did the apple pie come from?
My parents, who are both supportive and practical, perfectly captured the plight of the humanities major before I even set foot on campus.
Jack the Ripper