Shock and Denial
On Election Night 2024, I went to bed feeling something I hadn’t felt in years: hope. Surely, I told myself, America has learned its lesson. Surely, we are a nation of progress and reason. I even reassured my friends — Don’t worry. We’re waking up to good news.
Spoiler: We did not.
The first notification I saw the next morning wasn’t even from a friend checking in — it was from the New York Times, because apparently, they like to ruin my day before I even brush my teeth.
My first reaction: This is a joke. My second reaction: Okay, but like… what if it’s not a joke? My third reaction: Maybe I’m still asleep and my subconscious is playing some elaborate prank on me because I once laughed at a TikTok about lucid dreaming.
Desperate, I opened the election map. Maybe — just maybe — the NYT had simply miscounted the votes, which, frankly, felt more plausible than America willingly voting Trump in for a second time. I searched frantically for updates — AP News? Same results. Washington Post? Same results. Financial Times? Same results.
Finally, after twenty minutes of scrolling and an existential crisis, I had to accept reality: Not only had Trump won, but he had won the popular vote. He had 312 electoral votes. Meanwhile, Harris had managed to scrape together a sad, little 226.
At this point, I wasn’t just questioning democracy — I was questioning mathematics.
Anger
The next few days were a blur of screaming into my pillow and ranting to my parents on the phone. No, Mom, I do not care about my exams right now. Our country is imploding.
But four months later? Oh, I’m still angry. And most of that anger is directed at the New York Times. Every time I open their website, I am personally victimized by a fresh set of headlines, each more absurd than the last:
“Trump Targets a Growing List of Those He Sees as Disloyal”
“Musk Says Government Workers Must Detail Their Workweek or Lose Their Jobs”
“Trump Kicks Congress to the Curb, With Little Protest From Republicans”
I could close my eyes, click randomly and every single article would either raise my blood pressure or make me want to claw my eyes out.
And what irks me the most is not the literal content of these news articles but the tone. It’s almost as if everyone is fascinated by his antics rather than terrified. Ohhhh, which government agency will Trump defund today? Who will he fire? Is today the day he tries to take over Greenland?
And you know what? I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. But I also can’t look away. Here is the unlisted prerequisite of double majoring in International Studies and Political Science: I have to look at the news every day.
Bargaining
I briefly switched to the Financial Times from the New York Times thinking that it’d be different. Maybe if I just read different news sources, I won’t feel like this… I hate to report that I was wrong. Deeply, embarrassingly wrong. This may shock you but, the news doesn’t change even if your newspaper does.
The headlines were identical, only now they were dressed up in a classier font and accompanied by the images of world leaders looking increasingly disappointed in each other.
So then I thought, Okay. What if I just read the headlines and not the articles? Genius, right? A masterful plan. One might even say, foolproof.
Except it was not foolproof. Because headlines, much like horoscopes and exes who “just want to talk,” are designed to lure you in. And so I read.
In a last-ditch effort, I thought I’d completely stop reading the news. Like how one may cut off an ex and do no contact.
I lasted three days. Three days until my professor asked the class, “Did you all see what was on the news?” No, in fact, I did not. Safe to say that this was my first class ticket back to the New York Times.
Depression
At some point, I stopped looking at the headlines with such intense anger and began blankly nodding along. I would open the New York Times, scan the homepage and think: Yeah. That seems about right.
“Trump Signs Order to Designate English as Official Language of the U.S.”
Of course he did.
“How Zelensky’s Oval Office Meeting Turned Into a Showdown With Trump”
Classic move.
As depressing as it is to say, I wake up every day expecting something drastic to happen. Not hoping — expecting. It’s as if I’ve completely given up on the idea that there could be good news. If I saw a headline that read “Trump has officially made the Supreme Court and Congress void — all the power rests on Trump,” I wouldn’t even question it.
I check the news like a person checking their bank account after a weekend of reckless spending — I already know it’s bad, but I have to see how bad. And every time, I get the same sinking feeling: Oh. Worse than I thought.
I used to believe things could change. I used to believe that public outrage mattered, that democracy still functioned, that people in power could be held accountable. But alas, it appears to have lost all power.
Upward Turn and Acceptance (?)
Even though there is a constant battle between news headlines and myself, it’s important to remember that we must always stay positive and things will get better. Come 2028, the United States will (hopefully) be a changed nation, no longer plagued with the consequences of extreme nationalism and polarization. We will be a country that has grown and developed resilience, and we will have become that much better because of it.
Anyway, I’ve lost all hope and I’ll be suing the New York Times for emotional distress. While I do that, have a good day.
Alyssa Gonzalez is a sophomore from Miami, Fla. majoring in International Studies and Political Science with a minor in Economics. Her column approaches the political atmosphere through an individual lens, grounding the conversation in empathy and clarity in an attempt to humanize the field.
