A few weeks ago, I walked into CVS and printed out 114 4x6 photos. My intent was to make a photo wall in my apartment, but given that I am indecisive, I decided to just print a huge chunk of my favorites folder without truly thinking about the sheer quantity that I had selected. I returned to my apartment that afternoon with a thick stack of photos and a very loose plan of what to do with them.
This year, I’m living alone for the very first time, which, while daunting, has been an exciting experience of managing my independence and responsibilities. And, with the number of decorations and photos I’ve now hung up in my apartment, it feels like I’m constantly surrounded by people…
When I graduated college this past May, one of my biggest worries was about how I would no longer have all of my friends close to me in one place. For the past four years, I had grown accustomed to having most of my friends living within a five block radius from me on the Hopkins campus, which allowed me to make spontaneous plans easily and always be surrounded by community.
While I was very excited for my friends who were moving across the country and around the world upon graduation, I also felt uncertain about how my friendships would pan out in a post-graduate world. I was scared of losing contact with certain people, and scared that friendships would fade.
Nevertheless, something I’ve learned since graduating college is that — surprisingly — life does not end when college ends. Having friends spread out across the country is a strength, not a weakness. It means that I have the opportunity to learn through my friends’ lived experiences and perspectives, giving us new topics to catch up on and also making me a proud supporter of all of their endeavors. Excitingly, it also means I get to couch-surf and travel to so many new places to see my friends, from Baltimore and beyond.
As I organized my CVS prints and decided which ones to hang up on the wall, it felt like pieces of a puzzle clicking into place. These photos represent my family, my friendships, my life experiences… but also so much more. The process of hanging up these photos, shuffling them around and replacing them showed me that life’s events are not organized. The mosaic of our experiences may be disjointed, but what’s unique about it is that it’s ours: we are the owners of our experiences. My photo wall showed me that we may not be able to control the exact path that life takes us on, but we can savor the moments along the way and enjoy the journey.
Further, graduating college has taught me that people will enter and leave our lives at different times. While college is a formative chapter of many of our lives, it is not permanent (even though it may feel like it is in the moment). Time is fleeting, and it’s our responsibility to enjoy the present moment, without constantly worrying about how life will pan out and which friendships will remain.
A hard truth I’ve learned is that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay (note: not everyone will be your cup of tea either). But, what’s most important is to surround yourself with people you care about and people who value you, because those are the people who will be there for you in the highs and lows of life’s journeys.
As I repeatedly reconfigured and reconstructed my photo wall, I moved photos around again, trying to reduce clutter, while also maximizing as many of the 114 photos that I could fit into one place.
As I sit here staring at the photos that I have now hung up, I have come to realize that there’s no such thing as perfection: there will always be a photo that I feel is missing, or something I wish I could add. But, the same applies to life. Life is not about striving for perfection. It’s about living to the fullest. It’s about enjoying these moments with the people around you, those who you care deeply about and those who care deeply for you. It’s about making peace with those around you, and realizing that your photo wall is a unique representation of you, one that is ever transforming.
Because what you put in your photo wall is a representation of your life story. And for me, it’s about having pieces of home everywhere I go.
Gabriel Lesser is a graduate student from Westchester, NY in the Department of Mental Health at the Bloomberg School of Public Health. His column explores his memories, along with his current reflections and the lessons that he has learned.
