To my Hopkins friends

As I was eating my lunch near the lily pond in the Decker Garden while writing my research paper and watching the new students explore the campus, it suddenly hit me that now I am closer to finishing graduate school than the day I started it. When I first came to Hopkins in 2021, the thought of surviving and thriving in graduate school felt both exciting and terrifying. 

Over the years, there have been many nerve-wracking yet thrilling moments that have made this journey feel so rewarding. At the same time, there have been multiple instances when everything felt overwhelming, whether it was because I had a rough day in the lab or I was simply missing my family. Every time I feel that way, I often get the urge to escape somewhere far away from this scientific world I am a part of.

Graduate school years are usually the most transformative years, and for me, the transformation was happening in such a subtle yet effective way. When I reflect on my past four years and look at that 21-year-old girl who was standing in the customs line completely terrified in New York, I can’t help but notice how much I have grown since then — from the girl who was afraid to walk alone in the streets to the woman who gets her energy from going out and exploring the city. I had grown to be a much more outgoing and confident girl than I was when I just started graduate school. 

Thinking about my growth, I can confidently say that people around me played the most important part in that. I went from an introvert to someone who loves to talk to people, make friends and exchange life stories back and forth for hours. I no longer shy away from talking because of the fear of saying something silly, thanks to the friends I found on my journey.

I remember when we all first met in the lab or through mutual friends; we would hang out once a month over brunch or dinner, talking for hours about our lab work and life back in India. After hanging out for a few weeks here and there, we took a hiking trip to Shenandoah National Park. That trip was when we realized that we loved each other’s company so much that we talked for eight hours straight about our lives without any fear of judgment. That was the beginning of our friendship, and we have never looked back since.

I can’t pick a specific moment that made me realize I couldn’t live on this campus without them. Over four years, hanging out with each other became a habit, and not seeing them for a while (even if it’s only for a week) feels strange now. Our hobbies and jobs are so different, yet we are interconnected through the same level of love and compassion, and this is what kept our friendship strong over the years. Whether it’s Soumya’s love for cooking new dishes, Divya’s enthusiasm for running and asking us to join her every month, Jithin’s passion for driving us to new places or my interest in finding the best hiking spots and planning those trips, we all contribute to the bond we share. I can be my true self around them, and they still love me wholeheartedly. If I am getting successful results in an experiment, they will be the most spirited cheerleaders in the room, and if I am failing, they will be there to give me the tightest hugs.

We have grown to be each other’s best friends and it makes me so happy to spend every second with them and enjoy every moment. From barging into their labs in the middle of the day to vent about my problems to forcing them to get coffee with me from Brody Learning Commons Cafe, I am basically with them whenever I am not working. We have seen each other through so many personal and professional ups and downs, which is typical for any other graduate student, but we always had each other’s back. There have been moments where we have laughed until our stomachs started hurting on Fells Point, and we have cried on each other’s shoulders when our research projects were not going well. In this process, unknowingly, we became each other’s strongest support system here. I’m forever grateful to Hopkins for helping me find these people who complete me like a puzzle piece. 

I know that many people promote self-love on Instagram nowadays, saying you don't need anyone else to accomplish your goals. I used to be one of those people. After spending four years with the best people I know, I disagree with that: I wouldn't be the same without my friends; I really want to hold onto my friends tightly and love them as much as I can, telling them about the impact they have had on my life. I don’t think I would be where I am today in my graduate school without them. I wouldn’t have the same confidence and strength to take a stand for myself or the same sense of humor to laugh at myself. They keep me grounded and don’t let anything get in my head. I tend to isolate myself a lot, but I just want to thank them for bringing me out of my shell. You are my home here, and as much as it excites me and makes me proud to see all of us close to getting the “Dr.” title, it scares me equally knowing we won’t be seeing each other every day soon. 

I know the reality is that the strength of friendships changes with changing cities, yet I am trying to not think about it as of now. I want to cherish this time we have left together at Hopkins, bantering with each other, cooking together, discussing our problems (whether it’s about chemistry or life), and promising each other to run marathons together. I hope we take those annual trips we plan so much about, attend each other’s weddings and dance our hearts out.  No matter how far we are, I know we will be there for each other unconditionally. 

Sudha Yadav is a graduate student from North India in the Department of Chemistry. Her column, Crystal From the Valleys, talks about the roller coaster ride of grad life, seeing beauty in chemistry and getting inspiration from nature.