“I know you've been waiting for someone to come pick you up.”
Ironically, English singer-songwriter, model and actress Alice Suki Waterhouse’s second studio album, Memoir of a Sparklemuffin, is anything but a pick-me-up. Released on Sept. 13, the album is somewhat bloated, featuring 18 songs, five of which were released as singles. Waterhouse recently reentered the spotlight due to her role as Karen Sirko in the musical drama Daisy Jones and The Six, her newfound virality on TikTok and her engagement to universally adored Robert Pattinson.
With distorted guitar riffs and propulsive beats, the album characterizes itself as uninhibited, but, after the first half of the tracklist, this allure and excitement quickly fizzles out. The first few songs definitely stand out through their carefree beats paired with Waterhouse’s unmistakable vocals — breathy, intimate and nostalgic. The best moments on this album are reckless and unafraid to break out of the slow, ballad-like niche Waterhouse has previously carved for herself through her best-known songs like “Johanna” and “Good Looking.” The most upbeat tracks also have a unique, refreshing set of influences; whereas “Supersad” is reminiscent of 1980s pop hits (think “I Ran (So Far Away)”), “Blackout Drunk” seems to have a heavy electronic influence, similar to artists like Magdalena Bay and Caroline Polachek. There’s something about angry, woeful lyrics over a bouncy backing track that I can never get enough of.
As we go down the tracklist, the songs slow down and almost start blending into one another. Waterhouse recently shared her mentality towards songwriting in an interview with Associated Press News, saying, “I had so many voices in my head — like, ‘Don’t do anything too upbeat.’” It appears that she is still afraid of stepping outside her comfort zone.
This isn’t to say her slower songs are bad. They’re just repetitive. Other than some stand-out, slower-paced tracks like “Model, Actress, Whatever” and “Lullaby,” her standard woozy, dream-like vocals create an extremely similar sound. Even after three or four listens, I found myself unable to differentiate between the last few tracks on the album.
And, it’s not just the repetitive melodies and beats, but also the themes of the album feel superficial and gimmicky, beginning right from the title. While the word “memoir” suggests a deep introspection on her experiences, the lyrics show listeners that this depth is fleeting. And the symbol of the “Sparklemuffin” itself suggests Waterhouse is a colorful, dancing, elusive spider that often cannibalizes its mate. Unfortunately, this, too, seems to reach a level of profundity and complexity that the tracklist just can’t provide. Most of the lyrics feel like reading a teenage girl’s diary, and, while I absolutely love some adolescent angst, it feels immature and almost corny coming from someone well into motherhood. Honestly, it’s hard to believe that someone with a six-month-old baby can write lyrics like “I’m mentally ill and that’s why you date me.”
Even the most heart-wrenching lyrics (for example, “I was still in primary school when people thought your band was cool” reminds me of one of my favorite lyrics on Stranger In The Alps by Phoebe Bridgers, “You were in a band when I was born” — simplistic yet scathing) on the album are overshadowed by phrases you would have seen on the most angsty corners of 2014 Tumblr.
Waterhouse’s lyrics also paint her as painfully self-aware — the nonchalant, cool girl who seems too far away to touch. She doesn’t stray away from the image she has curated for herself over the years: sultry, mysterious and glamorously sad. For people looking for the silky, crooning breakup ballads that she’s been known to put out, this won’t be a disappointment. But — as someone expecting a mature, intimate perspective on her life — Memoir of a Sparklemuffin feels like a let-down. When you look at it critically, it is a collection of rather juvenile songs about lost love rather than an insight into who Waterhouse really is.
It is difficult to make an 18-track album that doesn’t feel hefty, especially in an era of reduced attention spans. And, while Memoir of a Sparklemuffin provides a promising start, it eventually delves into tired, repetitive territory that Waterhouse cannot seem to move past — catchy at best but pubescent and run-of-the-mill at worst.
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