Making friends 101

Making friends in college can be one of the most anxiety-inducing parts of freshman year. The importance of college friendships is often emphasized by parents, family members, social media and more. It can be somewhat daunting to think of how influential these connections will be on your college experience, but don’t let “finding your people" stress you out too much. Here are three things to keep in mind as you kick off your first semester.

1. Try new things, but don’t go too crazy in “reinventing” yourself.

It’s normal to want to change some things from high school. I wanted to be more easygoing. Some people want to change their clothing style, dye their hair, add a new hobby or be more socially active. All of these are valid changes. College is a great environment for trying new things: you have countless experiences, opportunities and influences at your fingertips. It is tempting to create a “new you” for this new phase in your life. But unless you used to kick puppies or bully younger kids in your free time, it is safe to say you do not need to completely overhaul who you are as a person.

Starting university is a massive change in itself, and there is going to be a lot that you will not be able to control — you might not get your preferred dorm or class, or perhaps the only available section will be at 8 A.M. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself to become someone completely new. It also probably won’t get you far in terms of making the genuine connections that make college so wonderful. 

2. Connections can happen in the unlikeliest of places.

One of the stories I remember the most fondly from my freshman year at Hopkins is how I met one of my roommates/best friends. Around a thousand of us were gathered on Gilman Quad to take the traditional class picture in 95º degree weather. After being moved around for the ninth time, I started complaining about how I wanted to bail for a cold drink. The girl standing in front of me agreed; although we ended up staying for the picture, we stopped for a boba afterward on St. Paul Street. Three years and many great memories later, I constantly reflect on how lucky it was that we just happened to stand next to each other that day.

I bring this up because I think it is really important to always have an open mind to making friends in unusual situations. Roommates, student organizations, sports teams and social media are really great ways to meet people. Nevertheless, you may also find a great friend in the person who borrows your charger in lecture or the person standing in front of you at Nolan’s Cafe. 

3. At the same time, remember that not everyone has to become your close friend.

In freshman year, particularly in the fall semester, I felt like I was introducing myself to at least five new people every day: in class, in the dining hall, at the Rec Center. This was fantastic because it felt like I got the opportunity to meet interesting individuals from all over the country and the world, who all had cool stories to tell about their pre-Hopkins lives. You will probably find yourself in the same situation. 

Make these introductions, tell people about yourself and ask them questions about themselves. However, don’t go into every conversation worried about turning that interaction into a friendship. I met hundreds of people in my first year — I don’t have hundreds of friends. Don’t force yourself to “click” with everyone you meet; you won’t be doing yourself a favor, and there are only so many places you can go to get coffee around campus. 

This isn’t to say ignore the people you meet but don’t “vibe” with. Be friendly! One of the things you will master at Hopkins, other than your academic field of choice, is how to greet an acquaintance you talked to once at a club mixer without any awkwardness.

Overall, don’t forget that you are not the only “new kid” here. In fact, everyone in your year is. Adapting to college is a process, and finding your people is part of that. It will likely not happen overnight, but once it does, you’ll realize that one of the best parts of this school is the people you meet along the way. 

Julia Mendes Queiroz is a senior from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil majoring in Economics and International Studies. She is a Sports Editor for The News-Letter.