APRIL FOOL’S: This article was published as part of The News-Letter’s annual April Fool’s edition, an attempt at adding some humor to a newspaper that is normally very serious about its reporting.
Earlier this month, federal prosecutors charged over 50 people – including parents, coaches and school officials – for bribing college officials or cheating on standardized tests in order to help students gain admission to several “elite” colleges and universities. Named “Operation Varsity Blues” by the FBI, the college admissions scandal has shed light on the lengths to which wealthy parents will go for their children to snag a spot at selective schools.
However, Hopkins has not yet been implicated in Operation Varsity Blues. According to FBI reports, Hopkins is not an “elite enough” school for wealthy parents to attempt to bribe.
In their interviews with nearly two dozen parents, federal prosecutors wrote: “For many parents, Hopkins does not have the same prestige as Yale or Stanford. Nor does it have the ‘fun, party-school’ appeal of the University of Southern California (USC). It also lacks Ivy league status. Despite being ranked #10 in the 2018 U.S. News and World Report list of top colleges and universities, it appears that Hopkins simply isn’t good enough for the wealthiest.”
Other parents felt that Hopkins was “too difficult,” or “too nerdy” for their children, federal prosecutors added.
“One parent said that she didn’t want her kids to be ‘anti-social losers who didn’t know how to have fun.’ Others repeatedly emphasized that they wanted their kids to get good grades with minimal effort. After hearing about Organic Chemistry and Physics at Hopkins, they immediately ruled the school out,” they wrote.
The News-Letter spoke to parents whose children attend some of the nation’s top schools to better understand how they look at Hopkins. Hellen E. Copter, a mother of two college students, explained how she perceives the University.
“My oldest goes to Harvard and my youngest goes to Brown,” Copter said. “If I were to bribe my child’s way into college – and I’m not saying that I would – Hopkins would definitely not be that school.”
Tiger Smith, whose son attends Yale, elaborated that with grade deflation, a lack of school spirit and few options for kids who are not pre-med, Hopkins may not be every parents’ first choice.
“I want to set my kid up for success,” he said. “I also want him to have an easy four years of fun before I get them a job at my company and pay their rent. Going to Hopkins would force him to actually study and put in effort, and I don’t want that for my son.”
On the Homewood Campus, some students feel offended that Hopkins wasn’t implicated in Operation Varsity Blues. Freshman Stan Commonapp shared his reaction to the college admissions scandal.
“We’re just as good as USC and certainly better than the University of California, San Diego,” he said. “I’m personally really hurt that Hopkins isn’t considered ‘elite enough’ by some people. At the same time, I guess I’m kind of proud to be a Hopkins student and know that our school wouldn’t take bribes from rich parents. As far as we know, anyway.”
