Shout out to my friends who read Today’s Announcements:
Thanks for always letting me know where the free food is.
Shout out to my roommate:
Thanks for always sharing groceries with me.
— Your banana buddy
Shout out to spring:
Why do you always have to arrive fashionably late?
— I just wanna be warm!
Shout out to all the freshmen:
I want you to know I can hear you talking about me. Why do you all hate me so much?
— McCool Hall
Shout out to the non-Ivy League kids:
Time again to remind you of your failed ambitions.
— Class of 2021
Shout out to all the students:
Why not vote in the upcoming SGA election? I promise you there is nothing more fun that fulfilling your civic duty.
— Lonely SGA senator
Shout out to the April Fools’ issue:
My parents almost had a heart attack.
— BME student
