Now dear reader, I do not know who you are but I can most likely predict that you too have stepped into a Hot Topic. Maybe it was to buy a gift, maybe it was to try out black lipstick, or maybe, just maybe, you needed to buy a coveted Nirvana smiley face tee.
In the era of the aughts, Hot Topic was Mecca to wannabe-punks everywhere that creamed their jeans at the mention of the words “Warped Tour.” Yet, who were the innovators that brought this facet of fashion into relevance? Why did men suddenly decide it was an obligation to wear “guyliner?” And who the hell decided that fingerless fishnet gloves had a right to exist? Let’s observe.
The year was 2002. With the success of their album The Young and the Hopeless, Good Charlotte shot to instant stardom. The band hails from local city Waldorf, Maryland and released their debut album, Good Charlotte in 2000.
What really solidified the group’s popularity was the I’m-sensitive-but-will-still-steal-a-slushie-from-7/11 vibe of identical twins Benji and Joel Madden. Joel had a tamer look: slicked black hair gingerly formed into a petite, spry mohawk, a cross pendant and not a single swipe of eyeliner.
Benji, the yang to Joel’s yin, went for a more drastic look. The man not only wore eyeliner that encircled the entirety of his eye sockets, but had an additional two lines of eyeliner sliding down into the middle of his cheekbones.
The man resembled a mix of a sad clown and a sobbing woman who forgot she was wearing mascara. What was young Benjamin’s hair, you inquire? Oh, just a shaved head that was then dyed pink with black dyed cheetah print spots.
It is impossible to forget Ben-J’s sleeve of overbearing and aggressive tattoos of God knows what. You may be thinking, “how did these guys ever get girls? They sound like bonafide hooligans!” Well, Benji is married to Cameron Diaz, and Joel to Nicole Richie. Better stock up on liquid liner now, lads.
Another huge proponent of the emo-sadboi-tight-jeans-Myspace-Ashlee Simpson-is-my-future-wife crowd was Pete Wentz. I remember always being confused as to why Wentz was relevant.
Wentz is still the most famous member of the band Fall Out Boy but I was never exactly sure of his role. Turns out, Pete is the bassist and back-up singer. That’s like if Michelle became the most famous member of Destiny’s Child. Let that sit with you for a minute. Ok, ready to continue?
So, Pete was “the face” of the group, considering every other member of Fall Out Boy looks like a bloated version of Jesse, Danny and Joey from Full House. Wentz’s going out look was always the same: an ambiguously greasy, artificially black, side-swept set of bangs, smudged eyeliner solely on the bottom lid and if we were really lucky, a black fedora.
Pete’s sense of style worked to his benefit during this era. He dated pretty much anyone who had a show on the CW and even had a short-lived marriage with Ashlee Simpson.
Our next scholar of style is Gerard Way. Way, a soft-spoken doughboy of a mensch was the lead singer and co-founder of the band My Chemical Romance.
Way never left the house without his black button-down shirt, silk red tie and a face as pale as an angsty powdered doughnut. And yes, Way wore guyliner!
He wore it on both lids, not unlike a sad baby raccoon that has just watched his mother become road kill. Way was the lovechild of Edward Scissorhands and Winona Ryder that we never got to meet. He always had a type of je-ne-sais-quoi that no one could decipher in terms of why they were attracted to him.
Was it his lifeless demeanor or aching, whiny vocals about parades that was such a guaranteed panty-dropper? Way has fallen into a state of oblivion and obscurity. He now performs solo, and his sales are “meh”, much like his personality when he stepped onto the scene.
Our final fashion killer is Billie Joe Armstrong. Although already a father of two during this era, Armstrong was the granddaddy of all these teenage fools. With a head of hair as spiky as a medieval flail and a body as pale and bony as Kate Moss during her heroin binge, Armstrong made it clear that he was not to be messed with.
Whether it was a graphic tee or a black button-down, Armstrong never lost sight of his CEO of EMO status. Armstrong’s band Green Day owned the new millennium. Did you have a discussion about where exactly the “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” was at your thanksgiving table, too?
Green Day even got a musical made out of all of their songs. You can bet that none of that was possible without Armstrong and his transformative fashion choices. Oh, a father of two can’t wear guyliner? Think again. He can. And he did. Every damn day.
Thus, what have we learned from all of this, dear reader? Was America’s adoration for tight jeans and sadness acceptable? Is eyeliner mutually exclusive to a female market? Do studded belts make you look more likely to be a witch? I’m not a magician. I don’t have answers for all of these questions,but I do know that pre-2010 was a beautiful time for any emo egoist.
