Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
November 23, 2024

March Horoscopes

March 2, 2017

Capricorn

The stars and I support your decision to rewatch all of Gilmore Girls instead of studying for your midterm.

Aquarius

Go try that new ramen place, and get back to me. Mercury wants you to.

Pisces

It’s not a crime if you don’t get caught. Keep that in mind for the weeks ahead of you.

Aries

Don’t forget to look up once in a while. You’ll walk into fewer poles that way.

Taurus

Things are about to pick up a bit, but don’t stress out. Just do as much as you can, it will work out in the end.

Gemini

With the weather as nice as it is, you’re going to want to be outside. Just remember the sunscreen.

Cancer

The stars are shining down on you tonight, if only to help you see your textbook.

Leo

On the third hour of the third night of the third month, you’re going to receive a phone call. Don’t pick it up.

Virgo

With the moon in retrograde, there is no need to worry about werewolves. Enjoy a night on the town!

Libra

Express yourself any way you know how. Whether that’s art, dance or screaming, just go for it.

Scorpio

Don’t let anyone judge you for your bad dancing.

Sagittarius

It’s okay to take a break from studying, especially if you’re in one of my classes. Please. I really need the curve to be good.


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