I’ve watched a lot of television. And I’ve watched a lot of great television. Yes, The Wire is probably the best television show of all time. Yes, I shrieked out in rage when David Chase cruelly chose to fade to black on the finale of The Sopranos. And yes, I almost wrote a personal letter to my one true love Larry David after watching the trainwreck that was the series finale of Seinfeld.
But, I would like to argue that one show, one masterpiece of the small screen, one timeless gem of popular culture in America, has truly changed my perspective on the idiot box. The Anna Nicole Show is one of the most important television series of all time. And here’s why.
The Anna Nicole Show premiered on Aug. 4, 2002, on the E! Network. America at this point in time was, for lack of a better word, odd. Nickelback had the number-one song on the charts, the number-one movie was a film about little men with hairy feet returning jewelry and we had a potato for a president.
We needed Anna at this point in time. We craved Anna at this point in time. If Anna was going to financially make it in the world, 2002 was her shining beacon of a chance.
Now, a little background on Anna. Anna was married to J. Howard Marshall, an 89-year-old billionaire oil tycoon who died months after the two tied the knot. One would think Anna would be swimming in it the second she said, “I do”. But, she was never guaranteed Marshall’s money. In fact, courts were still figuring out the rights to Marshall’s $44 million estate after Anna’s own death (R.I.P.).
Anna did have a prosperous career as a supermodel, but unfortunately took to a daily diet of binge eating pickles and fried chicken post Sugar Daddy death. She needed a way to make some cash, and she needed to do it fast.
Reality television up to 2002 consisted mainly of game shows. Documentary style-shows, specifically ones focused on subcultures, had yet to come into their own.
It is hard to believe considering most of the programming on the E! Network in this day and age is solely focused on exploiting the lives of talentless yet titillating “celebrities.” The Anna Nicole Show was the first series to break through the mold of standard television programming by proving that focusing on stupidity is one of the smartest things that can be broadcast.
So what exactly is the show about? Well that’s what makes it so great. Anna Nicole Smith is a 35-year-old ex-supermodel trying to replace her lust for food with a lust for fame by, quite frankly, doing absolutely nothing.
She surrounds herself with a posse that consists of her purple-haired emo assistant Kimmy, her attorney/secret lover Howard K. Stern, her camera-shy 14-year-old son Daniel and her miniature poodle Sugar Pie. The episodes revolve around Anna and how she maneuvers the absurd yet privileged situations she puts herself in.
I view the show’s success as a skewed version of the word schadenfreude, which means taking pleasure in other people’s misfortune. We, the audience, find joy in watching Anna navigate the so-called challenges of her B-list celebrity status. Yes, Anna is ditzy and speaks in a tone of voice that resembles a baby overdosing on Xanax, but she is by no means dumb.
Is Anna the one who is really “stupid?” While the audience watches motionless in their living rooms drinking glasses of wine the size of their heads, Anna makes millions of dollars for doing the exact same thing. Whether the audience is laughing at Anna for hiring a pet psychic or dry humping a couch, Anna is laughing along with us, all the way to the bank. Is Anna the one who is being exploited? Or is she exploiting us for our need to watch a downward spiral?
Anna is a strong-willed, confident female protagonist. She does not have a spouse, let alone a boyfriend on the show. The only time she mentions men in her life is for sex, and nothing else. Anna is called out for her weight multiple times, yet never once does she get upset or wallow or cry.
Instead Anna fights back and defends her body. Anna is the main breadwinner of her household and a single mother that takes on the role of a stable financial supporter. She is portrayed not only as a financially successful woman, but a woman who is truly carefree. Anna does have the occasional whiny breakdown, but most of the time they only involve the desire for a pickle.
Therefore The Anna Nicole Show deserves to be crowned as one of the most celebrated television programs of our time. It changed the face of television forever by putting documentary-style reality television on the map.
It manipulated the typical American audience into questioning their intelligence by giving such fame and success to a woman who takes five naps a day.
Finally it forced a spotlight onto a self-confident and thriving female protagonist, something that is hard to find even in television today. To quote Anna Nicole Smith, “People are just so stupid.”
