Aries
Today the moon stands with Aquarius. It’s time to throw caution to the wind and turn off spell check before writing that 10 page essay. Today’s your chance to really live.
Scorpio
Oh no. That’s not good.
Taurus
It’s only a matter of time before your past catches up to you, Taurus. We know and soon so will everyone else. Soon.
Cancer
You shouldn’t give anyone a chance to get you down today. We recommend just not talking to anyone.
Leo
Don’t study for the math midterm. Mercury told us it was a good idea. We promise it’s not because you’re in our section.
Virgo
Beware of Vampires.
Libra
Be nice to Vampires.
Sagittarius
Mercury faces off from an antagonistic moon today. That means it’s time to give back the hair dryer you borrowed three weeks ago.
Aquarius
Think about your friends today. Like why don’t you talk to them anymore? Why don’t you give us a call every once in awhile? I mean, is it really that hard to pick up a phone?
Pisces
Try to be a good motivator today, Pisces. So when Lisa comes in saying that she doesn’t think she can skip another lecture, you let her know that’s she’s wrong and that she shouldn’t underestimate herself.
