PBR: Something country this way comes

As a lifelong denizen of the Midwestern and Southern regions of the United States, Baltimore gives me a bit of culture shock. Gone are my beloved back roads and deep-fried comfort food, having been edged out by such exotic curiosities as sushi and modern art. While these exciting new treats, offered up by my adopted city, delight and amuse, sometimes a girl just wants the comfort of the familiar.

Enter PBR Baltimore, a true-blue honky-tonk on the upper deck of Power Plant Live! that boasts Western-themed decor, dancing girls in assless chaps and cowboy boots and even a mechanical bull. Power Plant was running a special this past Saturday night with a $5 cover for full entry, so my friends and I bounced around from bar to bar for a while before stumbling into this country gem.

We arrived at the venue about half an hour before midnight, dolled up with high expectations of a good time. We attracted a bit of attention from the bartenders almost immediately (my friend was wearing a Disney princess tiara) and were greeted with shots of the good ol’ boys, Jack and Jim. They even provided a special birthday drink festively adorned with whipped cream for my friend.

After properly lubricating ourselves, we took the dance floor, which was large enough to allow a decent crowd without feeling cramped.

Large doorways leading out to balconies provided airflow and kept the place from turning into a sauna. The DJ pumped out a good mix of country and this week’s Top 40, keeping both the rednecks like me and the rest of Baltimore enthused. We danced and laughed and interacted a little with the dancers, who did a good job of keeping the energy up

Eventually, we decided to try out the main attraction, the mechanical bull. A good crowd remained constant around its edges; the bull’s dramatic twists and the inevitable flinging-off of the drunk, uncoordinated body of its rider were enough entertainment to keep people watching. They obligingly “oohed” and “aahed” at the right moments, which went a long way towards making the activity fun and exciting.

We of course decided that the birthday girl must be the one to try it out, and so we eagerly watched her clamber up the slippery hide with Snapchat videos at the ready. Seconds after the bull began thrusting about, one of the male bartenders leaped onto its back behind her, eliciting whoops and jeers from the crowd. They lasted for a minute or two more, spinning around and ending up in a spectacular heap on the inflated cushions.

We collected ourselves and set out, grabbing a late night snack at our beloved UniMini. All in all, PBR Baltimore showed us a good time and gave me an approximate dose of home.