The spring semester has just begun, and some of you are feeling the pressure. I don’t mean the pressure of classes, I mean the pressure to fit in at Hopkins, to be happy, to make friends. Is this the second, third or fourth semester you’ve tried to convince yourself that this semester will be better than those previous? Do you find that, despite joining numerous clubs, you still feel as though you and Hopkins just don’t mesh?
I felt this way two years ago. I had tried unsuccessfully to make my tenure at the University of Pittsburgh work. I’d made an effort to engage with my peers, hang out with friends and become part of the Pitt community. However, I still felt like an outsider. I’d continually told myself that the next semester would be better. I’d told myself that I’d be done with another set of requirements and so could take more interesting classes or that I wasn’t a freshman anymore, so life would get better. The more I tried to make Pitt work, the harder it got and the more I realized that Pitt was not the place for me.
When I’d first gotten to Pitt, I hadn’t felt welcome. I still can’t tell you exactly what was wrong, but there was something about me that didn’t fit into the atmosphere at Pitt (or the other way around, if you’d like).
I felt isolated and judged. College was supposed to be this amazing place where you learned a lot about yourself and the world and, of course, had lots of fun in the process. My friends from high school kept telling me that college was the greatest thing that had ever happened to them. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t having the same experience.
After much thinking, talking to professors, crying and researching I came to the realization that transferring was my best option. It was a terrifying idea. What if I didn’t get into another school? What if Pitt was actually the right school for me and I just wasn’t trying hard enough? What if people would hate me for leaving? On top of these doubts, I would have to do the Common App again. However, I convinced myself that it was a worthwhile idea, my rationale being that the worst that could happen was that I would remain at Pitt.
Despite my acknowledgement that Pitt wasn’t the right school for me, it was still hard for me to decide to transfer. Looking back, there were some obvious signs that something was wrong, but I couldn’t see them at the time. I’ve listed some of them below in the hopes that they might help you make a decision about your future at Hopkins:
I found myself spending a ton of time watching random shows on Netflix. And by a ton of time I mean all the time I wasn’t in class or sleeping. I went through three seasons of Scandal in a matter of days. This wasn’t during a blizzard weekend or a break, but during school when I was supposed to be studying or spending some time outside of my bed.
I never wore my school’s gear. This may sound inconsequential, but next time you’re walking around campus, notice how many people are wearing Hopkins hats, T-shirts, sweatshirts and sweatpants. I did own a Pitt a sweatshirt and sweatpants, but I didn’t ever wear them. It was like I couldn’t bring myself to support the school. Some part of my subconscious knew how unhappy I was before I really did.
I was bored in my classes. My lack of challenge led to me slacking off and getting some of the worst grades of my school career. I felt like I was just floating along, doing enough work to get by, but not being pushed to do any better. It wasn’t a feeling I enjoyed.
People were constantly asking me why a girl from Los Angeles would want to go to school in Pittsburgh. Why not? Isn’t the point of being young to explore the world? Yes, LA is cool, but so are other places, even Pittsburgh. I felt like my peers didn’t think I belonged at the school. I was so foreign that they could not comprehend why I was there, which did not help my feeling of isolation.
I was unhappy. I didn’t notice how unhappy I was until I got to Hopkins and my dad asked whether anything was wrong because I sounded so chipper. At Pitt I was sick more often than not, I called my parents every day, sometimes twice a day, and I was depressed. I really was trying to make Pitt work, but the school and I just inherently did not get along.
If any of these sound familiar to you, you might want to rethink Hopkins. Transferring was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I was scared when I transferred because I thought people would judge me for leaving or for coming, for that matter, but I found that my friends, professors and new peers were very open to the idea and supported my decision.
The transfer deadline for most universities is in a month. That means that if you’re a freshman or a sophomore who’s unhappy at Hopkins, it’s time for you to decide whether Hopkins is really the right place for you. Yes it’s prestigious and very well known, but that isn’t a good enough reason to stay. If you’re interested in transferring, talk to your advisor, a peer or a professor you trust. Look into schools you might potential apply to. What I found most helpful was contacting the head of the department I was most interested in at a school I was looking into and asking them a bunch of questions. Many of them put me in touch with students who in turn gave me a different perspective.
What’s most important to know is that transferring is okay. No one is going to judge you or tell you you’re making the wrong choice. You should not be unhappy for four years, so make the decision to transfer. I promise you won’t regret it.
Sarah Stockman is a senior Writing Seminars major from Los Angeles.
