I studied abroad in Dublin, Ireland at Trinity College a little over a year ago. While there, I studied, explored the city and visited more abbey ruins than I can count. I also experienced the Irish drinking culture — I went clubbing, listened to unknown 1970s American music in bars and had epic conversations with tipsy 65-year-olds until the wee hours. It was wonderful. Exhausting, but wonderful.
During my six-month stay in Ireland, I stayed sober. Not the sober of only having a few beers, but the sober of not touching alcohol at all. My choice not to drink was a medical one since even a sip could potentially land me in the hospital.
I was apprehensive about studying in Dublin since the land of alcohol seems to require, well, alcohol. Much to my surprise, I found my lack of drinking readily accepted by the Irish. In fact, the old, red-faced men who had been drunk their entire lives were my biggest fans. I would sit and talk with them in pubs as they got more and more inebriated, and every few seconds one of them would pat me on the shoulder and applaud my sobriety. I was proud of my tenacity and wore my teetotalism like a badge of honor.
I’ve found that this acceptance does not cross the Atlantic well. When I go out in America with my friends, every few minutes I’m asked, “Just try this drink?” or told, “It’s only a sip, it won’t hurt.” It seems impossible for people to believe that I can have fun without booze.
It frustrates me that I’m made to be an outsider because I don’t drink. I feel isolated when people tell me I’m a “rare breed in college” or “I could never do that.” These statements may seem like compliments, but in reality they highlight how different I am from a majority of my peers. By not drinking, I become an oddity. People think that because I don’t drink, I’m therefore judging those who do, that I think myself to be superior or that I can’t have fun at parties. These thoughts make people look at me differently or try to force alcohol on me so that I’ll have fun too.
None of these beliefs are true. Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I hate alcohol and all those who consume it. I don’t think of myself as any better or worse than people who can drink. It’s just a pastime I’ll never be able to enjoy. I like going to parties because being the only sober person has its perks — you can be whoever you want to be, and everyone supports you because they’re too drunk to judge. It’s a very freeing experience. Plus there’s what I call “herd alcoholism”: If everyone around you is drunk, you feel drunk too.
The only problem I have with alcohol is when people try to get me to drink it and don’t listen when I say no. Those of you who drink, please respect my decision not to drink. I don’t care if you make a fool of yourself, spill your beer on me or puke everywhere. I promise I’m having fun, and I don’t think any less of you.
This acceptance doesn’t just apply to me. I have a medical excuse not to drink, but people who choose not to drink shouldn’t be treated any differently. They shouldn’t feel uncomfortable to go to parties or feel unwanted. They should be allowed to have fun even though drinking isn’t their thing. Their decision to be sober should be respected.
People who don’t drink — go to parties. Don’t let people’s judgments get in your way. Stick to your beliefs and have fun. If you’ve never been to a party while sober, it’s quite an experience. It might be overwhelming at first, but just know that it’s going to be crazy going in. Do something you’ve never done before because you’re too scared of being judged — refine your twerking skills, practice handstands, dance with a hot guy or girl. You’re in charge of yourself. Don’t let other people’s choices get in the way of your college experience, even if that means being the only one sober in a sea of drunk people.
