This summer when I was working at my camp, I had a ton of conversations about feminism and being a woman. I talked to other counselors about how to empower my female campers, and I talked to campers about what it looks like to have safe, women-only spaces. I watched as one of the girls I worked with engaged in an emotionally abusive relationship because of pressures she felt from other campers. I learned a lot about feminism, I grew into myself as a woman and I walked away from the summer with a lot of questions.
But, alongside all those tons of great conversations, I had a lot of really difficult conversations with men on staff. A number of them felt inconvenienced by the demands I was placing on them to create non-oppressive spaces, and that was certainly discouraging. But what I found most upsetting is that so many of them didn’t realize the everyday tolls gender oppression has on women.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I think about all these things because I live them. I notice all the little disadvantages that come with being a woman because I am one. The problem, though, is that change is never going to happen until men realize their privileges and get on board to help women fight the good fight. But what does it even mean to be privileged? Well, dear reader, I’m glad you asked. If you’re wondering just how gender-privileged you are, I’ve created a little quiz to help you find your answer. Read the following questions and pay attention to how often you say yes:
Do you fear for your physical safety when you walk alone at night?
Have you ever been called a slut for your sexual actions?
Have you ever been called a prude for your sexual actions?
Do you apologize before you ask questions?
Are people of your gender represented in the media as having only one body type?
Do you think about how parenthood will affect your career path?
Are you ever embarrassed to tell people what size clothing you wear?
Do you regularly spend more than 20 minutes on your appearance in the morning?
Have you ever wondered if you’ve only been admitted into a program because of your gender?
Do you carry pepper spray or a rape whistle with you?
Have you ever been told that the way you’re dressed is a distraction and therefore unprofessional?
Are your emotions ever invalidated because it’s “that time of the month”?
Do you experience sexual harassment (catcalls, body comments, whistling, etc.) when you walk down the street?
Have you ever felt pressured to kiss someone of the same gender for someone else’s entertainment?
Do you feel pressured to shave your body hair in order to look presentable?
If you’re in a STEM field, are most of your teachers a different gender from you?
If you answered no to most of these questions, know this: I answered yes to almost all of these. Maybe some of the questions surprised you, or they asked about a form of gender oppression that you hadn’t noticed before. These are all real things.
The list could have gone on and on for days. And it’s important for people to start recognizing the ways in which women are underprivileged so that everyone can be a feminist ally. Check your privilege, and then use it for good. Make a change in the world. Please.
