My roommate expressed this sentiment a few weeks ago. Yeah, it's pretty bizarre, but she makes an interesting point. For those of you who are partial to roses or have ever endeavored to adopt a pair of the silicon twins, hear me out.
Let's start with one disclaimer-I personally don't hate roses. Like most girls, I think they're romantic. Why? Same reason any other girl thinks so. Men only bring them around when they want to express. . . well, romance. I guess there's the core of the issue with roses. They're completely clich??. My theory is that the tradition started when a man spied the thorny piece of vegetation and said, "That looks delicious!" and then proceeded to gnaw on the stem until he realized that the gesture made women want to tango with him.
So what does this have to do with breast implants? That's an excellent question. And the answer is nothing. Roses are pretty unoriginal as a loving gesture, but they do cost a lot, so men only went around purchasing a dozen when they were feeling super romantic. Like, I'd-die-for-you romantic. That sounds pretty un-artificial to me.
So with all this undying love, how could roses be evil? I'm fairly sure most of you are aware of this, but roses have THORNS. And unless you're the architect that decided to plant a row of thorny bushes along the McCoy sidewalk, you're probably also aware that these things hurt! Have you ever been speared by one of these prickly fiends?? I haven't, but I'm sure they're awful.
Also, wasn't there a symbolic rose in Beauty and the Beast that caused all the kidnapping and mayhem and such? And what about the rose that the evil President Snow wore in the Hunger Games trilogy? And what about the famous Rose Garden at the White House? Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. That one is fine.
Now here's a real spooky connection: roses are red just like apples. And apples show up in all sorts of evil ways like on the book sleeves of popular vampire dramas and as sedatives in stories such as the one about a beautiful maidens who cohabitates with seven dwarves. So much evilness!!
So are breast implants evil, too? Yes. Think of all the back problems!! And then there are the really unfortunate times when they rupture (which requires extra screening procedures to prevent) and cause other sorts of havoc like pain, misshapenness and scarring! I don't know about you but I'd rather spend that money somewhere else.
Here's the thing, I really don't care for artificial breasts. I think they are a dangerous cosmetic remedy easily taken care of by a gift card to Victoria's Secret. I do like roses however. I think they're nice. If you're looking to date my roommate, however, stick with tulips.
