I love going to the gym. Be it the morning or the evening, there is always something (or someone) to watch while you feel like you're about to die. And the best part is that most of these people are repeat offenders.
1. People who forget about the cubbies.
Okay. Maybe you don't know what I mean when I say "cubbies"; it was a popular term in kindergarten, though may not have progressed past there. But whatever you call them, the little square-shaped vestibules that are in the cardio room are designed to store your things. While it is not advisable to put your iPhone, paycheck and/or laptop inside, you can put your less-valuable belongs inside there you work out.
Instances where I have seen people not do this?
a) the girl who ran around the track (for 40 minutes!) with her keys and lanyard around her neck. I actually thought she was going to choke.
b) the guy who jogged on the treadmill with his backpack right next to him. This was hazardous for those of us who work out and do not possess coordination. I may have tripped on its straps.
2. People who wear regular clothes to the gym.
I am not hating on people who don't own work-out clothes. Not everyone is as obsessed with Target's Active section as me. What I am hating on is the people who come to gym in their jeans and proceed to utilize cardio machines.
Perhaps weights would be more acceptable. While I prefer a little stretch in my clothes as I pump iron, you may not. But when you are sweating profusely, are jeans one of the least ideal forms of clothing? Yes. This is because of chafing.
3. Girls who wear nothing (or, like, the opposite of jeans).
You may or may not be familiar with our drop-in fitness classes, but the Rec Center does not offer pole dancing (though, I will be the first to petition for a class). This being said, the gym is not a place to come in your "barely-theres." By this, I mean: I do not want to see your ass cheeks.
In middle school, soffees (re: the tiny booty shorts you can roll up on your hips) were cute and fun and said "I'm a cheerleader" or, quite literally, said things like "Luv" on your butt.
But, as we have gotten older, many of us have realized that soffees are not practicular athletic shorts. They are tiny, shrink in the Charles Commons washing machines and are completely revealing when you stretch. At the very least, they need to be worn with spandex.
What they don't need to be worn with is a tiny thong. This seems like a reasonable thing to ask. And when you're done working out, can you please wipe down the equipment? I don't want to think about the existence of my own butt sweat let alone yours.
4. The five-minute men.
Ah, this has to be one of my favorites. These gym frequenters can often be found wearing jeans (see number two) and traveling in packs of interested friends.
They will walk into the gym, gather around the water fountain for 5 or ten minutes, and then select a machine on which to begin. But little do we all know, the beginning is only five minutes from their end. Then they will gather their posse and depart. I like to play a game guessing who these people will be.
