You know how some things land on either end of the spectrum?
Example 1: people playing with your hair. Personally, once you start playing with any strand of my curls, that's it! You better keep doing that until I have had my fill, or I will not be in a good mood. It's like turning me on and not getting the job done — what is that?! I may not get blue balls but s*** hurts just as bad. Then, on the other hand, you have people that spazz once you accidently graze their head, sheesh! Drama queens.
Another example for you guys is being ticklish. Some people are; if you know me, then you know how serious my ticklishness is. On the other end of the spectrum, others won't flinch even if you sweep a feather on the bottom of their foot.
Like many things, the conversations that I have with my mother are either filled with juicy gossip/updates, or they aren't. Luckily for me, a few days ago, acting the part of a dutiful daughter, I called the woman who birthed me after a long day of class. After two hours of lecture, I'm ready to head my ass back to my dorm to sleep, but, after talking to her, I realized I had more homework to do. It wasn't that my mom reminded me of other classes and what I needed to get done for them. Oh no, she wanted me to do homework for her. A little background is needed here. So, my mom is in the process of getting her event planning certification since she has the knack for creating great events. Not to mention that she has a keen eye for things when it isn't her money on the line. . .but who doesn't? She has even planned out a whole scenario of us going to different venues and me playing the part of an excited bride. This ultimately led to her making a comment on how I better bring home a nice, white boy, preferably someone who is going to be a doctor because they need to be on my level.
Back to the homework comment, being at Hopkins, she automatically thinks I'm a brain. I guess being here has emphasized the fact that everyone is not as smart as they thought they were in high school; now there is a need to study and start homework early. So, she tells me that she has these homework assignments, and I need to proof them and make them "smarter."
Now, now, this is my mother, momma, mom, madre (two brownie points to those people that realize where I'm getting this from), so I am compelled to do anything for her. But, additional homework is not something I jump at on any occasion. In the end, it isn't that serious since her homework is light work, but what never ceases to crack me up is that my "smartifying" technique for her writing is to go straight to the thesaurus.
Come on, I know you all do it too; no one in their right mind would instantly use the word "extemporaneously" instead of "spontaneously." I literally copied and pasted that word right now.
So this goes out to those Hopkins students that rushed to argue with my statement from the beginning about the "spectrum", and how there can be a happy middle. With hair, it could be you love it when people twist it, but pulling it doesn't get you hot. With tickling, it could be your pits are made of steel and nothing touching it can make you flinch. Well, you're right, because my mom showed me that apart from the bland hi and byes and the exciting gossip snippets there is also a middle: the girl-I-pay-for-your-college-so-fix-my-homework middle.
