This past Wednesday, the Center for Social Concern in conjunction with Tribe, Inc. hosted a talk called "Same Sex Marriage: The Political and Cultural Divide."
The panelists included Morgan Sheets, Executive Director of Equality Maryland, Ben Velp. deacon and entrepreneur, Reverend Jamie Washington, multicultural consulting administrator, and Kale Griffith, political activist for the banning of same-sex marriage. The event was moderated by local radio celebrity Anthony McCarthy.
Sheets started out by explaining that there are many nuances to the cultural divide over same sex marriage, but many times people are forced to answer yes or no to polls which misrepresent the feelings of a population.
He said that there is also a misunderstanding of the distinction between religious and civil marriage.
Sheets said that marriage is not a static institution; it has changed many times over the centuries. Original marriage contracts basically treated women as property and at one point in history, interracial marriages were illegal. Clearly, Sheets argued, marriage is a transient system.
"This is more than a political issue, this about real peoples' lives," Sheets said.
Velp, representing the Christian Impact Alliance, said that for his organization marriage is not just a religious issue. There are 10 areas that would be affected by government endorsement of same-sex marriage, according to Velp.
Velp listed public indoctrination of children in public schools, hate speech definition (which allows for fines or arrests of people speaking out against gay marriage), employment discrimination (where small businesses are forced to offer services to gay couples), marriage discrimination, IRS tax exempt status, facility discrimination, gender identity bills and polygamy as 10 areas that his organization finds problematic.
Washington's argument focused on the importance of family life when addressing the issue of gay marriage.
"America is a nation that loves and promotes family," Washington said, "and denying families to form is wrong. What's at stake is our humanity and we are divided because many of us are not sure why we stand where we stand."
Kelp argued that we need God's sense of morality and to look to a higher authority to reinforce our beliefs. He said that the divide exists despite separation of state and church.
McCarthy first asked about the "slippery slope" concept, or the idea that many people fear that by accepting same-sex marriage, American culture is moving to a "scary place" that could open a door for polygamous practices down the road. He asked why some people make a mental leap from same sex-marriage to polygamy.
Washington said that polygamy was a divisionary tactic. He did not agree or disagree to the idea of polygamy, but felt that bringing it up was an attempt to challenge America's status quo.
Velp argued that Americans already discriminate in marriage.
"We as a society do not approve of sibling marriage, nor do we allow a father to marry his daughter, or a 40-year-old man to marry a 12-year-old girl or boy," he said. He did not agree that the same-sex marriage group has a malicious intent, or that it has polygamy on its agenda. He thought that approving same-sex marriage would set a legal precedence.
Sheets agreed with Washington that the polygamy argument has been used primarily to incite discomfort and to scare people who straddle the two sides. She disagreed with Velp on the word choice of "discriminate". "We should differentiate marriage between two consenting adults and an adult and child," Sheets said.
Kaleb said polygamy legislation will not come from the LGBT community, but it is already coming, not only from the Mormons but also from the Muslims. Kaleb argued that it is fair to connect LGBT and polygamy, because they have the same arguments. "There are no constitutional reasons why marriage should be defined as between two individuals," Kaleb said.
Kaleb explained that polygamy is either highly religious and does not give women equal rights, or it is of the "70s free love" variety, where children do not know who their biological parents are.
He used the Netherlands as an example. The Netherlands equalized same-sex marriage some time ago, and now people do not view marriage as something to which to aspire. "If you view marriage as simply a civil thing, it takes away the sacredness of it," he said.
Velp said that outside of the strong faith community, there could be a devaluing of marriage if same-sex marriage was approved. He thought the polygamy argument was a bit of a "red herring," and that the main issue has been whether Americans want to trust the government to address the institution of marriage.
Sheets, who traveled to Vermont to marry her partner, explained that her marriage is sacred for her, her spouse and their friends and family, but they are fundamentally looking for government protection.
"Denying civil rights for one group based on what another group may do in the future is ridiculous," she said.
The moderator then asked the panelists to address the African American community's unique relationship with same-sex marriage.
Proposition Eight in California was vetoed by 65-53 percent of African Americans. McCarthy asked how this divide in the African American community could be explained.
Kelp explained that in the African American community, religion is closely tied to racial identity.
"African Americans are also more likely to do what their preacher says and sometimes people are influenced [by the church]. Also, they don't view same sex marriage as a civil right," Kelp said.
Sheets added that her group is making headway in Maryland with the African American community, but there is more work to be done. The African Americans that do support the LGBT community are in the minority.
Velps said there has been a big convergence between Latino, black and white church groups over same-sex marriage and sanctity of life issues.
According to Washington, young people tend to be more open to same-sex marriage because of greater exposure and experience.
Washington explained that comparing racism and heterosexism causes the African American community to often feel as though they have been used.
"I would never say they are the same thing, but I would say they are cut from the same cloth," Washington said.
McCarthy then focused on the criticism of the President for not moving faster on the defensive marriage act, asking the panelists if they thought the battle over marriage is at the federal level, or if the real battle lies in the state capitals.
"I think it is important to have a national marriage constitution amendment banning same-sex marriage," Velps said.
Sheets said her organization is interested in whatever helps couples first, but that there is a history of states taking action first.
Kaleb said he would like to go with what works, and that seems to be on the state level.
"Traditionally marriage is defined by the states. I would be for a constitutional amendment, but I don't think federal laws work, because states tend to change laws so they can continue to do what the want," he said.
