Last week, I discovered the cutest thing ever lurking at the back of the Charles Street Market: the POM tea bottles. I don't know how else to describe them except to say that they are cuteness incarnate. They're perfect - perfectly round, perfectly shaped, perfectly capped in kiwi green . . . In spite of the fact that I don't really drink tea, I bought four and promptly carried them home to share the joyous tidings with my roommates, thinking that they would also be thrilled to rejoice in my discovery.
Interestingly enough, they were unmoved. I asked again and again whether or not they understood the profound cuteness of what I was showing them, and over and over they would reply something to the effect of "Oh, yeah, you haven't seen that before?" I was stunned at the lack of enthusiasm over something so impeccably cute.
I'll admit, I am incredibly susceptible to cuteness. If you look at my shower, I may not have the best products, but all the bottles are scrumptious-looking. I like small cars. I only like cats before they reach a certain age. Every guy I've ever hooked up with has been at least a 7/10 on a cuteness scale. Pink is my favorite color. The more I think about it, the more I realize: Cuteness practically runs my life.
I'm not the only person who is like this. While my obsession with cuteness may be a bit more pervasive than other people's, cuteness is something that influences all of us. In psychology, they call it the "halo effect" - in other words, when someone is cute we automatically attribute other good qualities to them that they might not deserve, and as a result they get better treatment. When is this not true? Hot chicks score free drinks, good service and a plethora of bag-carrying, door-opening favors all the time while the Plain Janes are left to fend for themselves.
Same goes for men. I know a guy who is pretty annoying, but he has this incredible sounding voice, so in spite of being a jerk, no one seems to care because he sounds so good doing it. I know another guy who had a habit of showing up at girls' rooms at 5 a.m. and getting into bed with them . . . and somehow it's OK because he's so cute. And I needn't repeat my opinions about the Edward Cullen phenomenon.
Think about Hollywood for a moment. We guzzle up genuinely average people's lives in the form of E! Hollywood news, Us Weekly, and Perez . . . Why? It's definitely not because of their stellar political opinions or their brilliant witticisms. It's because they're so damn cute.
So what is it about cuteness that is so important? I've come to the conclusion that cuteness makes people happy because we equate cuteness with good, and let's face it, we're always trying to add more good to our lives. Take my POM bottles, for example. Why do I like them so much? It's because I like carrying them around. It makes me feel cuter to be holding something so cute - to be associated with it. In fact, there is nothing cute about this POM tea - as I said earlier, I don't really like tea. It's simply because I enjoy the bottle so much.
So how does this translate to other aspects of our lives? How much of the reason we associate with our chosen social crowd is because we like them and how much is because they make us feel better about the overall quality or cuteness of our lives?
How many guys are dating girls who, were they not as cute, they wouldn't be able to stand? How many girls are obsessed with guys who treat them like crap because the guys are cute? How many annoying, yapping little dogs are tucked into the purses of random women who thought it would be a good idea to get a walking squeak toy in order to make herself feel cuter? How often do you smile at someone just because you like the way they look?
I think the reason cuteness is such a seductive industry is because it can be cultivated. Intelligence you can't change. Height you can't change. Family history of heart disease you can't change. But cuteness? Anyone can make themselves cuter. There's always something to buy, something to do, something to be or to watch that will make you cuter, make you "happier." And if there's always something new to try, whether it's a new mascara or being up on the latest celebrity gossip, you can never become tired of it. The only problem is, at this rate, you'll also never feel like you're cute enough.
When it comes down to it, I think cuteness is important. I also think it's something to be wary of. As someone who drinks the "cuteness Kool-Aid" regularly, I can tell you that while it's a scenic road, it's also a bumpy one. While cuteness is a pleasure, it's also a distraction. For the day-to-day stuff, you can get by if you just turn off your brain and follow the shiny object; but eventually that sort of mentality will land you in an unpleasant situation, and you will have been so zoned out you won't even know how you got there.
The big decisions should be made eyes closed, ears closed, just listening to your own thoughts and how they instruct you. Because, let's face it - if you don't, you could end up glorifying a plastic bottle.
