The safer the investment, the less the payoff: a commonly held maxim in the financial world. Invest with the long-term in mind, in which case the appeal of the high-risk, high-profit options wane compared to that of the security and reliability of the surefires. No drama.
The catch is that these opportunities do not provide the amount of satisfaction that others do. Or so it is thought.
Let us take this into the social world. All over, people are leaving their homes and entering places of social interest (say, college, for one), with prospective love things surrounding. They may get hit on by some, approached by others and eventually go home with one (or more).
But this is a high-profit higher-risk investment. It may have paid off this time, but it doesn't always, and certainly did not for the others who attempted, without the payback.
So, is it worth the risk?
Well, the option to not go all-in offers ... what? An acquaintance? How fun is that? I thought this was a sex column?
I know; I know, but read me out: You, reading this, are most likely in college. Now, an acquaintance in college is not a non-sexual small talk passerby. You will probably see the acquaintance often enough to help influence the relationship you build.
(S)he will appreciate that you were not offering the same thing everyone else does: sex. Girls in particular are offered sex so often that their default response is rejection. By taking sex out of the initial proposition, you increase the probability of intimacy (physical and otherwise) later on.
The best way to get what you want is to act like you already have it. This does not mean you take it for granted; you must still appreciate whatever it is, but the behavior attracts the environment. If people throw themselves at you every turn, are you going to make a rush for any one person?
Desperation kills attraction. How can sexual interests chase you if never let up chasing them? Allow room for air, and they can breathe. Comfort breeds intimacy.
Next, girls know lots of girls, and guys know lots of guys. If you are meeting this person for the first time, chances are that that person belongs to a circle you are not in. This person can get you in. This person can also, if there is bad history and even if you are hitting it off too soon with another member of that social group, keep you out. Of course, these people know more people and so on, ad infinitum. An acquaintance is a door to all of them.
Finally, being introduced to someone by a person of the same gender makes you more attractive than otherwise. Thus, your function as a sexual being is made easier with the help of your new friend.
Lastly, an acquaintance will never put you into the Friend Zone, no matter how long you have known each other. It is not as though you need to go for broke soon. (S)he will be there.
Just as important, however, is that you not take the person for granted and treat him/her as though (s)he is always ripe for the eating. Not attractive, repulsive. But avoid this, and you can always start making efforts to attract later, no harm/foul.
The risk here is that should you see each other often enough that the emotional intimacy develops more rapidly than the physical intimacy, you will eventually become friends, at which point, you lose your acquaintance status, and it is possible to enter the Friend Zone. But this is easily avoidable, so long as you do not twiddle your thumbs with hesitation, waiting to make the move.
And the Friend Zone is not so bad. For one thing, you have a friend. For another, it is a lot easier to move from the Friend Zone to the Sexual Zone than people seem to think, especially if you are developing yourself, and thus your general attractiveness, from the start.
Once, a friend and I went out. We will call him Dick Vaseline. He and I see three girls and chat with them. We make jokes, laugh, cry, bond and move on.
When we are about to leave, Dick says to me, "Hey, should we go over to those girls?"
I think about it and tell him, "I look at what we did as an investment. No rush." He seems to like the advice, and we make ghost.
The next night, I find out later, Dick sees his favorite of the three at a party. Their initial acquaintance let's both of them drop their guard just a little, and they dance. One thing leads to another, and they get a little friendly.
Is it an incredible story? No. But they shared a good time. And that is the payoff.
