Rogen's Drillbit Taylor imitates and fails

It was an all-too familiar scene: two high school kids talking on cell phones about a day at school and how their lives were going to change. They rattled through the seemingly relatable dribble about popularity and girls, cracked a few fat jokes, yet after each punch line, all I heard were chirping crickets in the theater.

Drillbit Taylor came off as a cheap cash cow for co-writer Seth Rogen, who seems to be riding the massive success of Superbad by creating a strikingly similar plot with almost mirror-image characters and themes. His lack of effort shows.

Superbad was his high-school movie, a movie that joined the ranks with American Graffiti, Dazed and Confused and The Breakfast Club. Drillbit Taylor was the death rattle, the dying gasp of his ultimate project.

The story mainly follows Wade (Nate Hartley) and Ryan (Troy Gentile), two incoming high school freshmen who immediately suffer repeated abuse from members of the senior class, particularly from one exceptionally maniacal emancipated minor who has curried good favor with the administration.

The boys hire a homeless man by the name of Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson) as a bodyguard against the bullies, under the misconception that he is an ex-marine.

Initially trying to con the boys and their families out of everything they own, Drillbit eventually forms a relationship with them and fights for one last shot at redemption.

Owen Wilson as Drillbit Taylor was the saving grace for this movie. Without him, I wouldn't even have considered it. He delivers some funny lines and his interactions with the kids are sometimes worth a chuckle or two, but on the whole, it's the same old Owen Wilson.

The character of Drillbit Taylor is just a homeless version of the identical Owen Wilson characters that viewers have seen pop up in B-list comedies such as Starsky and Hutch and You, Me, and Dupree.

He's charming with the ladies and quick with the witty one-liners, but by the end of the movie, he doesn't deliver anything new. His lack of effort is almost as evident as Rogen's.

The real acting tragedy comes from Gentile and Hartley, who play the two main characters, and just seem too young to be taken seriously.

Their characters are the spitting image of Seth and Evan from Superbad, two socially awkward teens with a dynamic chemistry, but their performances aren't half as entertaining.

While the characters of Seth and Evan found a way to make awkwardness funny, the boys of Drillbit Taylor just make it uncomfortable. It quickly becomes clear that they are merely trying to imitate the acting styles of Michael Cera and Jonah Hill, and falling far below the line in a display that becomes painful to watch.

The two are even followed around by a "McLovin'" character by the name of Emmit (David Dorfman), who's squealing voice and high-pitched screams are more of an annoyance than anything else.

The predictability of the plot is yet another failing point in Drillbit Taylor. Superbad was effective in the same way that Dazed and Confused was effective because it was a plot-less ride.

Viewers didn't know what to expect, which made each ensuing scene the more effective. Each random car ride and string of events led the viewer deeper and deeper into the characters' adventure, something that Drillbit Taylor lacks.

The movie follows the simple, overused comedic plot, where things start out rough, quickly get better, hit a turn for a worse and eventually lead up to a hopefully satisfying conclusion.

Towards the end of the movie, the characters experience a predictable falling-out and the situation looks doomed for all, but it's not convincing.

Throughout the movie, you know that Drillbit will pull through, get the girl and redeem himself, and you know that the kids will overcome their obstacles and find a social niche in their high school career. The good guys win and the bad guys lose, fading to credits and an overwhelming sense of disappointment.

Drillbit Taylor is nothing more than another cheap high school flick, to join the failure bucket with the seemingly endless American Pie spin-offs.

It delivers nothing more than a quick buck to Seth Rogen and a few isolated laughs in the midst of a wave of unmet expectations.

Don't waste your money on this Superbad re-make that truly is super bad.