On Urban Dictionary, which invites everybody on the Internet to contribute definitions, one lexicographer offers the following explanation for what he calls a "myspace [sic.] bisexual:"
"A girl who makes out with other slutty chicks at parties and then claims to be bisexual because it's trendy to say so and gets people's attention on myspace [sic.]."
This simple act of semantic demystification says a lot about modern attitudes toward bisexuality. The bi-curious are often accused being inauthentic or vain; blame for spreading this misconception could be laid at the feet of David Bowie, who, back in the '80s, minted the cult of bisexual chic (a truly false view of bisexuality that reduces it to a style, a choice of clothing and the occasional same-sex smooch - only when drunk of course).
Like any good definition scribe, this one has provided a helpful taxonomy to classify his term: "skanks, whores, sluts, poseurs, dumb, bitches."
Why the long face, grumpy? Perhaps this fellow's bi himself - and pissed at the co-optation of his identity by a sick online parade of tonsil hockey.
Or perhaps, like myself, he finds it difficult to look at anything on MySpace without vomiting.
Or maybe this definition is a reflection of what many people think about bi-curiosity itself, even bisexuality in general: that it grabs attention by pushing the boundaries we've all grown comfortable with. Maybe we'd be better off without bisexuality?
Oops - did somebody say biphobia? What's that mean? Don't search Urban Dic for a definition - no luck there (although it does trace the etymology of "bioznitchizzle").
It's a grave omission, because biphobia - a contempt, conscious or not, for bisexuals - is everywhere.
Biphobia originates in a misunderstanding of what bisexuality is.
Here's a recent case: Recently, two scholars from the Culture and Family Institute published an article saying that if the government enacted sexual harassment legislation to protect bisexuals, that would "elevate multiple-sex-partner relationships (bisexuality) into a federally protected 'right.'
"By including 'bisexuality' in the definition of sexual orientations, the government would go on record supporting the practice of having sex with more than one person."
I've added some italics to that paragraph to emphasize what these authors (and millions of other morons) think bisexuality is: polyamory.
Now, it's true, bisexuality and polyamory do have a few things in common - namely that they're wholesome, family-friendly fun. But they're not the same thing. Seriously, I've seen toilet brushes more switched-on than these idiots.
Biphobic statements are not an exclusive export of the Christian Right; they appear in more subtle ways elsewhere. I'm sure we've all heard that bisexuals have an easy time finding sex, or that they "just can't decide." Hidden in this picture is a pervasive attitude that bisexuals are promiscuous, lazy or lying to themselves.
On that note, let's clear up the myth about promiscuity. The fact is that, while being bisexual of course means that you are attracted to both males and females, that does not mean that you are any less discerning in who you have sex with.
Bisexuals are not sex fiends. They just happen to be attracted to a set of people that spans the middle of the gender spectrum. That set might be large or very small. Bisexuals can be just as choosy as the rest of us.
The other thing often said about bisexuality is that it doesn't really exist, or at least, male bisexuality doesn't exist. Before going further, I will just say the view is very controversial, and I won't draw a definitive conclusion on it here.
My neutrality is rare: Certainly, legions of bisexually active men would jointly point their middle fingers at this claim. There is some science behind it. However, it is up to you to judge whether it is conclusive.
A study led by Dr. J. Michael Bailey at Northwestern University showed a variety of porn videos to self-identified male bisexuals, and found that they were usually erect after watching male gay porn but flaccid after watching heterosexual porn.
The study's critics say the conclusion is nothing but a reflection of our own biased intuitions. Most people are far more uncomfortable with male homosexuality than with lesbianity. (No mystery there: Our society's norms and tastes are set by straight men, and we do looove the girl-on-girl.) So maybe the study didn't dig up the truth on the biology of bisexuality so much as mirror the researchers' assumptions.
There's a bone or two to pick with the research methodology, too. Bailey et. al. drew their conclusion from examining 33 bisexual men, but 35 subjects showed no effects at all. Perhaps the porn-and-penis-length method was flawed. (Who really wants to watch porn with an unpronounceable penis-measuring device - a "plethysmograph" - scrutinizing your lolly, anyway?)
With no lab funding myself to judge, I'm not in a position to evaluate the research sincerely. Perhaps, in conclusion, the most telling observation I can make is that Urban Dictionary is not the only dictionary lacking an entry for "biphobia."
The Web sites http://www.webster.com and http://www.OED.com both turn up no results for the word. They ask me instead if I meant to look for "biphyllous" (adj., two-leaved) or "biophysics" (n., a major more lucrative than yours).
It's high time we extended an invitation to this eight-letter word to enter the sanctum of our personal lexicons. Biphobia is present in the lives of all bisexuals, and it's probably in your life, too.
