If you read this paper enough you'll notice that all the writers love to open their articles by denouncing the student body in some small way.
No rebel am I; in accordance with longstanding News-Letter tradition, I will present to you one further small reason why we all continue to suck.
When people talk about exploring the forbidden underground on this campus, they are usually speaking, according to our trademark, collegiate-solipsistic frame of reference, of ducking into a steam tunnel, i.e., under Homewood.
But if you take a look outside our soap-bubble campus, dear reader, you will soon see that there is a charmingly dirty underground world out there, cavernous and waiting to be discovered.
Baltimore is thick with scrumptious sin. And in this "city of neighborhoods," there is no neighborhood that speaks best to this aspect of Baltimore than its famous red-light district. The locals call it, simply enough, The Block.
The Block is a stretch of East Baltimore Street, near the waterfront, about halfway between Hopkins Med and the Bayview Center.
Dead by day, at night the area springs to life, casting a tantalizing beacon of neon. Some 11 million patrons a year swing by for a drink, a peep show or maybe something more.
While most visitors are tourists, The Block caters also caters to football fans streaming weekly out of M&T Bank Stadium and probably to a few people just across the street at City Hall.
Unlike many red-light districts, The Block is not separated from the heart of the city by railroad tracks, nor is it part of a larger shady side of town.
Although the Block is certainly shady itself - about 1,000 erotic dancers work there nightly at several strip joints - this den of iniquity is nestled among high-rise apartments, and the surrounding area is pretty gentrified. I mean, look no further for proof than the local Barnes & Noble.
The Block started taking shape about 80 years ago. It made its name in the '50s, when it earned its reputation as the go-to place for the needs of upstanding gentlemen: tits, ass and backroom blowjobs. The Block has never flagged in its task to uphold this tradition.
The Block is known for its high-profile erotic dancers, including the infamous Blaze Starr, former paramour of Louisiana governor Earl Long, and subject of the 1984 Paul Newman film Blaze. Starr was well-known for being well-endowed - at her peak, she was 38DD-24-37.
She also garnered acclaim for her innovative stage effects. She used smoke and wind machines, and a lot of red fabric, to make a couch appear to explode on stage while she undressed on it. She even involved a trained panther in her act - it undressed her.
You can catch Starr in a perfectly titled '60s porn flick, Blaze Starr Goes Back to Nature, which is a sort of like Into the Wild, but with boobies.
Visit the block and today and you may run into Starr, who's now in her mid-70s. She owns the joint where she used to work, the Two O'Clock Club.
Further down the street you'll hit the Villanova Show Bar, home to the towering Kitty, who rivals Michael Jordan in height.
If you're lucky, you might be able to catch a glimpse of Ronnie Bell and her Twin Liberty Bells.
But despite the decades of staying power of The Block in the cultural imagination of Baltimore, the borders of the neighborhood have been steadily retreating like the coastline of the Aral Sea.
The district was once a thoroughfare that extended all the way to Charles Street. It is now still holding its own, but on considerably tinier turf..
The Block's current status is actively debated. It is surrounded by prime real estate. If it were bought up by some major development company, it would be doubtlessly turned into condos and Starbucks chains in a minute.
But some city politicians prefer having a place like The Block around. They reason that if the crime is concentrated in one area, rather than dispersed throughout the city, then it is more easily kept in check.
In keeping with this view, the frequent patrolling of The Block makes it one of the city's safer places to walk at night.
Most recently, however, Baltimore police have been enforcing laws more aggressively, threatening the neighborhood's last legs. Not that it's difficult to find things to crack down on.
Three weeks ago, several strip joints on East Baltimore Street were cited for multiple violations of all kinds of laws.
Not only were they were serving 15-year-olds expensive vodka, but older men were supping on forbidden fruits as well.
According to the Sun, a vice detective visited the Foxy Lady while undercover and was offered sex for $150 by a dancer named Lot of Bottom.
