I finally had my first English Facebook friend, and I considered myself to be a true British student. A week later I saw him again at the student bar. He approached me cautiously and said, "So I was stalking you on Facebook. There is quite a lot of sex in your profile."
Proudly, I laughed and said, "I was the sex columnist at my home university."
"Oh ... I see, " was his curt reply. The conversation deadpanned from there.
As an American college student, I'm used to seeing, hearing or talking about some form of sex. Whether it's the latest gossip of a threesome or two guys pretending to Eiffel Tower a girl as she picks up her beer pong ball, sex is constantly in our faces in college. However in my British "uni" sex isn't a major part of everyday life in my experience so far.
The closest I've come to breaching the topic with British students was listing pick-up lines, a fairly tame discussion. Two seemingly innocent freshmen boys were overjoyed at their purchase of a poster listing the top "chat-up lines." "Oy! Read that one, 'Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?' Haha!" The most inoffensive, harmless lines had them practically spitting out their beer in laughter. It was quite a different scene from watching American guys go off about attempting to double-team the newest piece of freshman slut.
Joking about sexual intimacy can also be somewhat dangerous. I managed to embarrass another little first year boy by suggesting that we spoon. The laughter quickly ceased and he stared at me awkwardly. I came to find out that in England spooning is not the innocent act of cuddling but implies actual sex. My orientation leaders warned us about these situations, citing an example when a Brit challenged an American girl to embarrass him. Without hesitation she asked him when the last time he masturbated was. From then on, she was known as THAT ballsy American devoid of shame.
It isn't my intention to label the English as prudes, especially college students. Like us they're still teenagers with hormones surging through their bodies, guiding them to bad decisions once mixed with one too many pints. The difference is that sexuality isn't something to be flaunted here.
This can be attributed to English fashion, or lack thereof, as some may say. The most common teenage female outfit is a pair of skintight jeans, a mumu-like patterned dress layered with T-shirts or sweaters, messy hair precariously held up by a multitude of oddly place bobby pins and obnoxious cheap jewelry. Girls do not wear anything low-cut, too tight fitting on the bust or waist area, or short skirts or shorts without opaque leggings. Skin exposure is quite minimal. Even at clubs, you won't see the backless, strapless, stomach-less, ultra deep V-neck skin-tight tops common at the Power Plant. British girls may be edgy and fashion-forward with their metallic flats and Mod dresses, but they are not sexy or sensual.
The British also have sadly not been introduced to the art form of grinding. The Brits could never pull off inappropriate, boner-inducing quality grinding. Their form of dancing is more spastic and seizure-like. You jam out in your own world awkwardly kicking your legs and moving your arms in a windmill fashion. This ensures that another person doesn't come within three feet of your swirling dance bubble. Don't expect to get any action on the dance floor to the blaring British indie music.
That being said, there are two twists to the sexuality situation here in London. The first is the British obsession with PDA, or Public Displays of Affection. It's shocking upon first encounter, especially when you have a preconceived image of the cold British character. You will literally see people making out all over! Public transportation is the unofficial domain of first base. I saw a couple completely engulfing each other's mouths with tongues sloshing about for the enjoyment of other bus travelers like myself. And no, these weren't some young kids on the night bus coming back drunk from the clubs impatient to return to the dorms. It was mid-afternoon on a weekday, and they were two totally normal looking individuals. The young, the old, the hip, the nerdy - all can be seen getting intimate on escalators in the tube stations.
Second, the British have no qualms about nudity. In true European fashion, nudity is completely accepted. The daily papers all contain advertisements and stories with pictures of naked individuals. They're usually female, though, because honestly who wants to see an unexcited penis chilling in some random ad? The same British boy that I embarrassed with spooning played a game with me: "Count the nipples in GQ." There were at least eight that I saw. This cultural difference all comes back to the British kicking out the boring, ultra-conservative Puritans to America. Americans had freedom of speech while the British had freedom to strip down. Who really won in that situation?
The English are difficult to classify when it comes to sex. Luckily I still have half a semester to learn more about British sexuality. I wouldn't encourage students to study abroad here if all they want to do is have crazy, passionate European sex. Maybe Hopkins can start a new study abroad program in the red light district to cater to those students.
