You probably have never heard of Chris Dorbian. Not because he's not popular, but because most don't call him by his real name.
They call him Lazer Stan.
Once upon a time, a youngster from Philadelphia stepped foot onto the Homewood campus. This particular boy wasn't your average student. He came from a rough suburban background and had wrestled and played football in high school. Although the pleasantries of life as a first semester freshman at Hopkins are satisfying enough for most, this freshman found himself to be one of the few first-years looking for ... something. Something more.
That something, for Chris Dorbian, turned out to be hooligan-ism. Where, the lonely student wondered, could he find an outlet for the hooligan burning inside of him? He found the answer in the Hopkins club rugby team.
"I play rugby because it's the most the most brutal and hooliganish sport out there," Dorbian said. "It was right in my league."
After only a few weeks on the budding team of 2004, a funny thing happened to Dorbian. One day, an intoxicated athlete, "Steve," witnesses Dorbian zipping across the field. Struck by Dorbian's speed and talent, "Steve" felt the urge to vocalize his praise. Unfortunately he couldn't remember the young athlete's name. "LAZER STAN!" he cried. And that day, Lazer Stan was born.
Lazer's life hasn't been the same since. "The title was bestowed on me as a freshman , and it'll last long after I graduate," the senior flyback said.
Three years later, Lazer's changed in a number of ways. "I've put on a few pounds and am a little closer to being able to grow a beard," he said. Not to mention he's moved from being a Rugby rookie to starting flyback (a position similar to a football quarterback), scored the most "flys" (goals) on the team and has been voted captain for two years in a row. All this, plus facial hair-growing capabilities? What an athlete!
Of course, Lazer didn't admit to these accomplishments easily. "I don't want to come off as an asshole," he said.
Lazer? An asshole? Impossible. His girlfriend of two years, Kerry Rose, stops in during our interview. "Did you bring them?" she asked.
He reached down into his black Jansport, unzipped the bag and looked for something. Something like the chocolate chip cookies she asked him to bring.
Before you reach for that Kleenex, you might want to reach for a Band-Aid too. Although the previous story is charming, senior teammate Wayne Atwell has a different tale of Lazer Stan.
"One day during practice we ran into each other during a scrimmage and our foreheads collided. Apparently his head is harder than mine, because I had to go to the hospital and get 12 stitches," he said, concluding, "Chris Dorbian is probably the best rugby player to have played for Hopkins during the four years I have been on the team." Atwell is only one of many injured at the hands of Dorbian, whose fast "cat-like maneuvers" keep opponents on their toes.
After Saturday's win against American University, the team finised its regular season with a 5-1 record. "The team's finally gotten good," Lazer said. "After three years of losing, it's satisfying to see it all finally come together." The Jays are also seated fifth in PRU rankings.
But for Lazer Stan, rankings aren't just what the sport's about. In fact, he claimed, "I didn't even know rugby was really considered a sport here at Hopkins." Instead, Lazer values the type of men that compose the team. Particular to the Hopkins rugby team, he claimed (albeit the hooligan-ness), is the fact that "The Hopkins rugby team is composed of true gentlemen."
The team's gentleman like qualities extend beyond bringing cookies for girlfriends.
Rugby fan Hillary Portner has been coming for the past three years, volunteering as the team first-aid provider and head cheerer. "Lazer Stan is basically responsible for all the wins this season," she said with admiration.
The athlete of the week doesn't mind if you call him Chris, a hooligan, a gentleman or Lazer Stan. The one thing he does request, however, is that "anyone interested should come out." And if you're not interested in playing, come witness the speed and glory of Lazer Stan as he and his fellow Jays fly past Loyola, on Saturday at 1 p.m. at Loyola.
