Please don't forget to mention the life-changing vibrator. Every woman should own one (or two!)
--One Happy Student
I've seen cleaning solutions specifically designed for sex toys -- are these necessary, or are soap and hot water good enough? What about a mild shampoo, or Woolite?
I'd say it's about time this column tackled sex toys. Vibrators and dildos are becoming ever more acceptable ways of getting off and ever more common in bedroom play for two. But most people are uncomfortable and don't know where to start in purchasing one. Now guys, it's just as important for you to get comfortable with the topic as it is for girls. Many guys get all freaked out by a vibrator, thinking it makes them obsolete or spoils women with its never-flagging energy. This just isn't so. With all this in mind, let's get down to the basics, from what kind of toy to choose to where to get it to how to keep it purring soundly and disease-free.
I begin with the sex toy question of the ages: dildo or vibrator? Each has its advantages, but I personally lean toward the vibrator. I tell you ladies out there who do not own a vibrator, One Happy Student has it right -- every woman needs a vibrator. They do what no man can do, and, my, they do it well.
Many women will solve the question-of-the-ages quandary by buying one of those cheap vibrators shaped like a phallus. I emphatically discourage this. The penis, sorry to say guys, just isn't the most efficient stimulator of a lady's pink parts.
The best vibrators are typically the small, non-phallic looking ones. Some women really like feeling all filled up, though, and for these women I recommend investing in a good silicone dildo along with a good vibe.
To find the perfect dildo or vibe for you, check out the Good Vibrations on-line catalogue at http://www.goodvibes.com/. They have sex toys, prodigious amounts of information on them, women- and gay-positive erotica, gag gifts and instructions on sexual health and well-being.
The catalogue and accompanying store are run by a collective of women expressly to help women. That means they don't have objectifying blowup dolls, objectifying pornography videos, or copious issues of tawdry porno rags. But they do have plenty of information on how to choose the right toy for you, including the advantages of one dildo over another and a chart that rates each vibrator they carry based on volume and intensity.
Their customer service is also excellent, so if you've got a question, just send them an e-mail or give them a phone call on their toll-free line. As it's women looking to make women comfortable with their sexuality, you may be pleasantly surprised with the warm response you get. But don't worry guys, that doesn't mean that they won't help a caring boyfriend looking to find a little gift for his sweet girlfriend.
If you still feel kind of funny ordering a sex toy from a sex toy store, then I suggest you check out http://www.drugstore.com. Yep, they now have a section for "Sexual Well-Being." If you're nervous about what your roommates will think when they see a brown paper wrapped package, or what your mailman will think, just order from them. Your package will show up in a Drugstore.com box, and everyone will think it's just new shampoo or Tylenol. Still, I would suggest you surf around Good Vibrations' Web site beforehand, though, just to have some thorough, detailed information.
When I told you I would tell you everything you need to know about sex toys, I maybe lied a little. I'm not going to tell you how to use them; I think you can probably figure that out yourselves. But I would like to remind you, both boys and girls, that vibrators can be equally fun solo or with your partner.
Also, I should mention a couple safety tips: only put objects with a flared base in the anus, otherwise you may lose them; and only use water- or silicone-based lubricants (but no silicon lube on a silicone dildo), because they clean up nicer and are less likely to spread infections.
Cleaning sex toys is really quite easy. Vibrators, unless they specifically say they're waterproof, should not be submerged in water. Wipe them down with alcohol. Silicone, rubber and soft skin toys can all be cleaned with some mild soap and warm water. There's no need for a special "sex-toy cleaner." My guess is this is a product designed to scam you out of money -- don't buy it.
Silicone is perhaps the easiest to clean: you can hand wash it, put it in the top rack of your dishwasher, and even boil it for two minutes to sterilize it. Rubber and soft skin don't take to boiling so well and shouldn't go in the dishwasher because of that. Make sure your toys are fully dry before stashing them back away in your underwear drawer, as bacteria and viruses don't survive well on a dry surface.
Any toys that are used with multiple partners should be used with condoms. Any toys that go from anus to vagina should be used with condoms. Basic rule of thumb: if your toy goes from one orifice to the other, always put a condom on it before it makes the switch. It's a good idea to use condoms in all sexual your encounters.
I leave it to you to go out there and explore the many options available to you in terms of sexual aids. And remember my basic tenets of sexual advice: do only what you're comfortable with, and nothing is inherently "dirty" or "inappropriate" if it brings you pleasure. So go on out there and have yourselves a good time.
Editors' Note: In this weekly column, Sarah Gibson will discuss her own experiences and answer sexual queries on any topic. To send questions anonymously to the columnist, go to http://www.jhunewsletter.com and click "Contact Us." Or you can write to sex@jhunewsletter.com.
The columnist is not a trained medical professional. If you require professional medical advice, please consult a physician.
