What is college known for? An opportunity for a fine-tuned education, of course! But aside from that . aside from the education intellect mind-expanding crap, college is known for, come on, all together now, DRINKING! And Hopkins is definitely included in that stereotype. Actually, I think it's a wonder why people haven't started drinking in the library yet.
After all, the library is, more or less, the place where everyone goes to socialize. Throwing back a few beers on B Level all in the name of getting to know your peers sounds like a reasonable idea to me.
Besides, has anyone heard the myth that drinking helps you study more productively and efficiently? Maybe some day, that will be true, and the world will celebrate in euphoric rapture. Otherwise, the social activity of drinking for the appreciation of the liquor, drinking just to hang out with friends, or drinking plainly and simply to get drunk, it is a way in which us college kids can relate to other members both of our society and of societies past.
Here are a few quotes and/or myths that will help and humor even the most experienced liquor connoisseur.
Anonymous
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Dean Martin
2. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Irish Quote
3. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. So, lets all get drunk and go to Heaven!
Jeffrey Lebowski
4. Sometimes, you hit the bar, and sometimes, the bar hits you.
Anonymous
5. I don't drink anymore, but I don't drink any less.
Rev. Horton Heat
6. Lost my job for no reason or rhyme, guess that means it's martini time.
Ogden Nash
7. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Tom Waitts
8. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Anonymous
9. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, have no fear.
Jack Handey
10. I bet if you reached total enlightenment while drinking beer, it would make beer squirt out your nose.
Oscar Wilde
11. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Humphrey Bogart
12. The problem with the world is that the world is a few drinks behind.
Russian proverb
13. Vodka is our enemy, so we'll utterly consume it.
A quick comment on number nine that might be useful to those of you who are going to actually use this list to improve and/or better understand your drinking habits. Apparently it's true. If you drink beer first, the effect does not hit your body until after you've taken a shot. Then, the shot and the beer hit you at the exact same time, and working together, can make your night of partying turn into a night in the bathroom hugging the toilet with your hair plastered to your face.
If you take the shot first, however, the impact will hit you directly, and by the time you finish a beer and it starts to hit you, the shot will have already started wearing off. That way, you can, at least to a certain extent, monitor how much alcohol is affecting your body at one time.
You're on your own guys. Even if you don't drink, looking up the validity of some other common sayings might be worth the effort. Chances are, even if you don't drink, you definitely have a friend that does, or you've been in a situation before where alcohol is involved.
This is college - have fun, be funny, but be realistic. And most importantly, be safe. No matter what order you put alcohol in, it has the potential to make you get sicker than a dog - as I'm sure many a Hopkins student has experienced. Trust me, you're not any less of a person if after the fourth shot you do hit the floor.
However, once you've got all of your bases covered, get out there and enjoy alcohol responsibly. To find these quotes, and similar humorous quotes in a number of different categories, be sure to give http://quotes.prolix.nu/Authors/ a look.
