Dealing with baby drama, a boyfriend evolution or hiding those hickies? I've got your answers.
Q: I'm a junior, and I think my biological clock might be ticking. Lately all I can think about is having a baby. I don't have a boyfriend, but how do I find a guy who wants to have kids?
A: The only reason I would send you to a doctor is to get you on the pill until you're sure, economically and socially, that you can handle a baby.
That said, you might very well scare some guys away. Especially here, where everyone is so career- focused and nearly everyone you ask wants to get their lives in order before they start a family.
If you're sure you want to and can manage raising a baby, make sure the guy you find is as into it as you are.
And don't be afraid to go to a Planned Parenthood or Birthright. They're not all about abortion, not at all - they're always glad to help you get on the pill, help you decide if now is a good time to have a baby, all sorts of things.
Q: My boyfriend was somewhat, well, socially awkward when I met him. Now that we're dating, he's become a lot more confident and forward. My friends say that I should be glad I've helped him be more social, but should I be worried that I've given him enough confidence that he's going to find someone better than me?
Does he still spend a lot of time with you? Or has he already started dumping you for his new social life? If it's the latter, then be worried. Otherwise, I'd say he realizes that you helped him become who he is and he loves you even more for it.
Quick side note: Please never date down so they won't cheat. Don't date someone you know is dumber or less attractive than you just so you can be assured they won't cheat.
Not only does that theory not always work - sometimes the ugliest ones are the most likely to stray - but you are not helping yourself at all.
Q: How do I get a hickey to go away quickly?
First be sure it is actually a hickey, and not just a bite mark. Bite marks aren't the same and cannot be tricked into disappearing. Luckily for you, hickeys can.
One of the easiest ways is to ice the area as soon after as possible. The window for this is supposedly six hours but I've never found it to work after four.
So as soon as possible after finishing your hickey-generating activities, find something cold. Ice works, frozen foods work, even cold cans or glass bottles work fairly well.
If you don't manage to get ice on it, your best plan is to implement lots of prevention. Turtlenecks and scarves and high collared jackets are so in.
If your hickeys are still red, try adding a little light green eye-shadow (CoverGirl makes a good one) to balance, and try to avoid the glittery ones. Add foundation over that.
Keep in mind that generally your neck is a shade or two lighter than your face. Dark peach spots are almost as noticeable as dark red ones!
To get it to go away faster, I swear by the toothbrush method. Take an old toothbrush (not too hard bristles), and rub the hickey.
Twisting the cap of a chapstick or wide pen also helps. I won't try to explain the biological reasoning here.
Some people say putting deodorant on them also helps, but I've never bothered to try. In between toothbrush treatments, try putting a spoon in the freezer and then holding it to your neck. I've found that to work better than the warm washcloth method.
Good luck, and don't forget to invest in inconspicuous neck coverings if you like being bitten. It's just common sense. Especially since the real bite marks don't go away as easily.
