Now that April's here, the fickle weather of Baltimore has finally stopped fooling around (get it?). It's springtime. Ladies, those stuffy sweaters can finally retire to your bottom drawer, and toss your Uggs into the closet (or, even better, the trash!).
After being cooped up for too long under all that fur and wool, your skin's begging to breathe again.
A great way to embrace the spring breeze is with a light, loose top. When you're shopping, don't be afraid of the stylish cuts of new spring tops. Think flowy, carefree and un-clinging. The look should be somewhere between 1970s hippies and 15th century peasants.
But before making any purchases, definitely think about spending some quality time in a dressing room. It's the kind of shirt that has trouble fitting a definition (descriptive adjectives range from "flowy" to "maternal") or fitting perfectly with any body type. For the sake of this column, we'll call this shirt a flow top.
"Those kinds of shirts are particularly problematic," sophomore Suzanne Gold admits. This brings up a common characteristic of the flowy top: length. Standing at 5 foot 3, Gold's right when she expresses concern for the visual effects of the often lengthy tops.
If the top hits below your tush, this shortens the length of your legs. Gold compares the image of a lady in a too-long flowy top to "a tunic-wearing hobbit."
Though hobbits and other mystical creatures are very popular on campus, it's wise to keep the trends of the fantasy world strictly to the DVD player, video controller and/or game board. Please.
Most girls can find a flowy top whose length is appropriate, but width is a much larger problem.
Not only does the flowy top challenge the side-to-side width of the female figure, but (unlike the tight tanks and form-fitting t-shirts of past spring styles) also the front-to-back dimensions.
When it comes to side-to-side fit, try to look for tops that aren't overly A-shaped. If you have a small torso or hips, you might find yourself lost in the horizontal horror of an ill-fitting flowy top.
The top should be looser but shouldn't camouflage your womanly figure. Like many males, freshman Jack Anderson appreciates the shape of a lady.
"Women should flaunt their curves, not hide them," he said in response to overly flowy shirt.
If your physique just doesn't form with the flow, but you love the shirt anyway, there are ways to make it work.
Though the shrinking power of the drying machines may be tempting (especially to you first-year launderers), don't do it - shrinking a wide top only shortens the length, making it appear wider.
Gold reveals a trendy secret many use to combat the box effect of a flawed flowy top. "Your best bet is to belt it, just to give the shirt some shape. Most don't think to do this, hence: the pregnant look," she said.
The pregnant look - perhaps the flowy top's number one problem child, distinguished by excess space in the "front-to-back" portion of the shirt. Here's where many flowy tops just don't make the cut.
Since most drop from the neckline in a fashion that can be described as hanging, finding a shirt that has both a fitting neckline and body may be tricky. Often the fabric billows out, making the woman appear as if she is with child. There are countless tales of a mistaken account of pregnancy due to unruly ruffles of flowy shirt.
For most ladies, this problem starts right there: the ladies. If you're large-chested, aim for longer flowy shirts with more fabric. Hopefully when the flow of your top falls from your chest, it will hang inwards, instead of out, successfully eradicating any doubts of pregnancy.
For the girls rocking A-cups, steer towards flowy tops with higher necklines and less fabric.
The low cuts and loose layouts of many flowy tops don't suit many petite and small-chested women, who just don't have as much to fill the generous spaces of the flowy top.
If you and your chest find yourselves in this situation, avoid tops with low, bowl-cut necklines and search instead for wrap or V-neck styles.
Some flowy tops even have adjustable straps, making it easy for your girls to stay snugly covered while the rest of your body has space to breathe.
Finding a flowy top that meets the many demands of a woman's complex figure isn't as easy and breezy as the style suggests.
For that reason, most stores are also equipped with weapons to domesticate the wild folds of the flowy shirt.
Belts, of course, control the shirt by harnessing excess fabric in the front or at the sides.
Remember, though, that a flowy shirt should be ... flowy. Choose a belt that fits the easy-going theme of the flowy shirt. This means you shouldn't buy the black suede belt on clearance.
Instead use the small power of a thin, light belt appropriate for both the spring season and the carefree attitude of the flowy shirt. Ribbons are also a creative solution to problematic flowy tops.
Although ending this article with advice to "go with the flow" would be witty, it would also be kind of cheesy and also wrong.
Wise (yet still cheesy) advice: before you "spring" into purchasing the new styles of this season, make sure your flowy top is flattering.
